A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently found out that my girlfriend of 6 months has been lying to me about her faith. She is a practicing Wiccan, and she's always led me to believe that she's a Christian. What makes me most upset isn't her different faith, but the very fact that she's been lying to me about it (I found out through a friend, and later through her profile on WitchVox website). In the beginning of our relationship, I found out that she was talking to and seeing another guy, which led to trust issues, and then to a discussion about being completely OPEN about EVERYTHING. Now, having found out she completely misled me and lied to me about her faith, I feel like that trust has been shattered. Furthermore, I feel as though she has, in fact, been leading a "double-life" of which I, and all of her family, have been kept in the dark about. By all measures, I believe that this is something serious enough to end the relationship over, but I want to get other advice to make sure that I'm not overreacting.
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female
reader, starchild  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 pagans accept evryone so why do christians have a problem with every other faith and judge us?-dont your bible say-judge not,that ye be not judged.for with what judgment ye judge,ye shall be judged
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): If you're a Christian, here's your answer::You shouldn't be dating a non-Christian. Especially one who doesn't even consider the same God as a possibility. 2 Corinthians 6:14 -- Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?---and---1 Corinthians 15:33 -- Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.If you are a Christian, at this point, her lying to you should be the least of your concerns. Be her friend, don't judge her, but certainly, and under NO circumstances, allow her to lead you astray. I've struggled witht his many times. Trust me, your reward is greater when you obey He who has created you.If you're not a Christian, here's your answer:Research Wicca for yourself. If you deal with the lies, deception, and deceit, rock on.
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A
female
reader, creepy gothic girl +, writes (19 March 2007):
Dear Faithless Love,
You're a christian aren't you? How did I know that? Because you are judging someone!...but seriously....
The hell you're not upset that your girlfriend turned out to be Wicca. You are probably on your couch at home, with a bin of icecream, crying your eyes out as you watch Bewitched.
You have a right to be upset, because she shouldn't have lied to you about her being a christian. But before you get ready to burn your relationship at the stake...or even set her up for a trial simalar to the ones her people endured back in Salem, think about why she lied.
Trust me, I used to be a Christian before I turned to the Wicca faith....and i hate to admit this...but...I GOT LAID SO MUCH MORE OFTEN WHEN I WAS A CHRISTIAN.Ironic huh? listen to me: The biggest boner killer in the world is the line: "hey honey, I practice witchcraft."
Wicca is one of the most misunderstood religions in the USA today. Some schools will suspend you, and employers won't hire you for fear that with your employment they'll have to get hex insurance and a new parking spot for your broom. If she had told you the truth, she might of been afraid that you would leave her, that her family would disown her if they found out, and who knows what else.
You were right when you said she has been living a double life. She has, and it can't be a fun one. It would be diffrent if she was taking some sick pleasure in lying to you, but i don't think she is. Maybe by the time she had come clean for seeing that other guy, she figured the little detail about being a witch when you were expecting a church choir girl, might just cause you to end the relationship.
Obviously you are enchanted by the girl. Pardon the pun. You wouldn't be posting your woes on the internet if you were ready to give up. If I were you try to be less accusing and angry and more understanding to why she lied to you.
Read up a little on Wicca yourself, stop casting stones and suprise your wicked woman. Engage her into a conversation about her hidden religion or buy her a love candle, and tell her that she doesn't need to hide anything from you anymore. That you will love her as long as she is open and honest, and see this dishonest moment as another building block to a better realationship. Good luck with Sabrina,
Terminally Morbidly Yours,
†Creepy†Gothic †Girl†
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A
female
reader, agony aunt j +, writes (19 March 2007):
 hi there!
try to understand that wicca is seen as being evil by many people and so she may have been worried of what you may think - wicca is all about the elements - earth, wind, fire and water and SPIRIT. it just means enjoying the earths natural elements and worshipping them. she might have thought you would end the relationship and see her as a witch or something similar. it is unfair that you had to find out from someone else and her not being able to tell you herself, but try and see it from her point of view. i dont really think this is big enough to break up over, but i dont know her like you do so it's your judgement to whether this could bring up further trust issues, which i can understand if it would. just tell her about how you feel and ask her why she lied and does this mean you cant trust her anymore?
i wouldnt end it with her, but make her aware of the problems you are afraid it may bring.
trust is hard to regain, but i think you should give her a chance.
hope it turns out alright!
:):)
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A
female
reader, Dear fuzz +, writes (19 March 2007):
well a male
maybe you need to think why she wasnt able to confide in you about her faith in the first place, maybe she wasnt cormftable enough to trust your reaction i think you should sit and calmly ask your girlfriend why she felt she could not confide in you. In all honestly you have only been going out with one another for 6 months this is still a period about finding out about one another.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): I agree with you that this is a serious deception, not only of you, but of her family as well. What would trouble me about it is not necessarily the fact that she is Wiccan, nor that she was also seeing another man, but that she felt unable, for whatever reason, to be upfront and clear about it. She appears to have real problems with being honest in her relationships.
I don't know the reason for her feeling she has to hide her religious beliefs whether she thinks her family and you, would not approve, but this does not speak well for her, that she is apparently unwilling to stand up for what she professes.
The first thing I would recommend is to sit down with her while you are in a calm frame of mind and see if you can find out what she thinks she is doing. Don't blame or condemn her, but if you feel that her reasons are such that you can no longer trust her, THEN end it and tell her why.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Have you tried thinking about why she lied to you? Wicca is so misunderstood in so many societies. You hear wicca and you think witchcraft and evil whereas really as far as I know wicca is about worshiping the natural world. I think maybe she was just scared about your reaction to her religion rather than deliberately keeping something from you. While I admit that I think it was totally wrong if she was dating someone else at the same time as you, 100% honesty in relationships isn't always the best policy. Everyone needs some secrets. You just need to assert where your boundaries are.
CD
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