A
male
age
30-35,
*hawana
writes:hi everyone. please help!i met a girl last year, march 29 2010, shes very pretty, cute. a month later, we started dating. and i proposed her and she accepted me.when we go out together, she kind of stare other guys, she doesn look, rather stares. and on small small things she started lying. i found out that her guy friends sends her very dirty messages(forwards) on phone, sometimes she use to delete her text conversation with her guy friends. all because of this i started losing trust on her and had frequent fights.i am a commercial pilot, have an awesome personality, 6'3" tall, but im dark. i found out that she is not comfortable with my looks, and she never took me to her friends cos she was embarresed about me being dark (wheatish color). she once said she doesn like kissing me.now, one day early this year, i was entering my examination hall, i called her up, and asked where she is, she lied to me that shes at her computer class, i convinced her to tell me the truth and found out that she was with a guy in his car alone. she even bunked her classes. she started talking to him 2 weeks back and this guy proposed her and used to flirt around with her. my girlfriend also was quite impressed by him, and she wanted to meet him too. they were together for 5-6 hours. this is what my girlfriend told me after so many lies.i broke up with her. i couldnt digest it. now since then shes crying and asking for a chance. i already gave her too many chances. she says she'll change and she cries a lot. i don trust her at all. im very insecure. i loved her a lot. she was not my girlfriend but my life. please tell me what to do???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): I have just what you need. REALLY.From what I read, she probably have a serious emotional condition called "Borderline Personality Disorder." If that is the case, you must ignore her at all costs. At first I thought this was childish from her and that maybe you guys were teenagers. Later, I realized you ere a pilot. So you should be a fully fledged adult now.BPD is serious, serious bussiness. Frequent lies, push/pulling, hate. I went thru a very hard relation. My ex partner was diagnosed with BPD. Read this breakup page. If this sounds like you, then you should participate in their forums and tell your story.http://www.bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a109.htmHOPE this help man. Never take any crap and lies from any of your partners, especially BPD ones. They are going to make ur life HELL.
A
male
reader, ghawana +, writes (10 April 2011):
ghawana is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou are so correct jonas. iv broke up with her, told her mom dat she needs to teach her daughter not to lie. her mom is so upset depressed dat we ain't together anymore. n seriously, its been over a day since we broke n now im so relieved. thanks for all the suggestions people.
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A
male
reader, helperrrr  +, writes (9 April 2011):
Suicide? You probably should involve her parent or police/doctor.
You should not be getting back with her, she is trying hard to get back with you because she knows she wont get a better guy. She wanted the good husband, but also to do with other men on the side.
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A
male
reader, ghawana +, writes (8 April 2011):
ghawana is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou so much people. the problem im facing now is shes not ready to break up. she threatens me dat she will commit suicide. i feel so stuck. i donno wat to do :( looking wat all she did in our relation, i cant allow myself to give her another chance. need a serious advice from everyone. plsssss.!!!
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A
male
reader, yesno  +, writes (7 April 2011):
RUN! Get away from her as fast as you can. She is a liar and CANNOT be trusted. In addition, she views you as a chump. You sound like a great guy. Don't waste yourself on her.
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A
male
reader, krit +, writes (7 April 2011):
 LEAVE her. What are you after??? I would say that she's not a cheat but she's not just attracted to you. She's just trying to adjust but as she's not attracted she goes to other guys. And mind you, attraction is not just based on looks. You had treated Her like queen, but this just doesn't works as no queen is attracted to men under him. So either raise your bars or bring hers down. Be a bit of CRUEL. Being TOO NICE doesn't works. Don't give her a chance as attraction isn't a choice, so if she now not into you then probably she would never be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): If you dont trust her at all. Then going out with her again will unfortunately leave you no happier than you are now. As for feeling insecure. You will feel insecure when your partner tells you that she is embarrassed of you, doesnt even want to kiss you and is running around with others. If she loved you she wouldnt say those things. She would be proud to show you off to her friends, love kissing you and never be tempted by other.
To be really happy, you need to be with someone who feels about you as you feel about them. It is what you deserve and you shouldnt settle for anything less. You sound as if you have a lot to give someone and you should give it to someone who loves and respect you and appreciates you for who you are. Your ex didnt do any of the above.
It is your decision if you give her another chance or not. But you say you have already given her chances. So you have to decide when enough is enough. I cant help feeling that her heart wasnt really in the relationship you had. And she will just waste more of your time and be in the way of you meeting someone really special, should you give her another chance. Bit its your decision.
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