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age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I've been really close with one of my male friends since the age of 2, I'm now 18, that's 16 years and I've been friends with his girlfriend for 7 years and all of a sudden she's getting weird with me when it comes to him. I am openly gay, everyone knows and all of my friends get it. Me and this male friend 'James' always used to joke about him being the most handsome guy and everything, it was obvious to everyone that it was a joke but when he started dating my friend 'Ella' we stopped the joke so it wouldn't bother her. I commented on his Facebook status jokingly, nothing serious, his status was 'I'm out of hibernation' and my response was 'Can't believe you were ever in hibernation, you're always lovely and lively'. About an hour ago, I got a message from Ella saying 'woah back off'. I don't understand why she's suddenly being like this with me. She knows I'm gay and I never commented in a flirtatious way. What should I do? Should I do as she says and back off and risk losing a 16 year long friendship? Or should I just ignore her and continue as normal? Help please!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 March 2014):
 If she keeps this up, maybe just hide your updates from her? So she can't see what YOU post?
I DO think she made a mountain out of a molehill here (specially if she thinks it's OK for HER to flirt/banter with YOUR GF). But now you know. She has a double standard when it come to YOU and HER BF.
Again though, it's Facebook. I swear some people should just unplug.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, I see your point Honeypie.I didn't intend for it to be flirty, when we joked before they started dating it used to be really flirty and everyone knew it was a joke, even she knew. I honestly didn't think that sounded flirty because that's the way we all talk, and when I said 'lovely and lively' I was only referring to how lively he was. I was a bit annoyed that she got angry purely because when I have a girlfriend, she flirts constantly with her and practically drapes herself over my girl, even if she doesn't know her and so I thought a little joke on Facebook would be okay, apparently not. But a quick update, she's actually apologised for being a bit snappy with me, I think her boyfriend spoke to her about it, but it's wound me up a bit :/ Thanks for your advice.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 March 2014):
You beig gay doesn't mean she doesn't see you as comepetition for the guy's (her BF's) affections and gay or not, that DOES sound like you are hitting on him (even if you didn't intend that)
Just tone it down. Being gay doesn't mean you can do/say anything to a guy and it's OK. You know?
She obviously feels threatened by you. (gay nor not)
Having banter with a male friend is OK, you just have to remember that SHE and other people might see it in a different light then how you meant it. However, I would talk to your male friend and see how he feels about the way you talk. If he doesn't have a problem then honestly I would carry on, but... tone it down a tad.
You can't live your life walking on eggshells because SHE is insecure, but you don't HAVE to break eggs so you can have your fun. It's a balance.
And honestly, people like HER needs to get off Facebook if they get bent out of shape over a comment like that.
It';s flipping Facebook...
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