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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been going out wit my girlfriend for the past year and 2 months. I love her very very much and i did want to spend the rest of my life with her. I currently travelling round the world and she's back at home studdying at university. Im am going travelling for 9 months and im two months in so i have 7 months left. She is coming out to see me in a month for a month and is also planning to come out again four months after that. Before i left we left we both decided that we love each very much and were willing to make the committment to each other and stay faithfull while i was away. This hasnt really been a problem for me as yet and i feel i can do it easily do the distance as ive had no temptation what so ever.However i rang her up the other day and she said she had kissed someone the previous night. She was very drunk chatting to this guy on a sofa at this house party and he had lent in and kissed her. She said she let it happen for a couple of seconds and realised what was happening a pushed him away. She says it wasnt tongues and it couldnt of lasted for more that 2 seconds but she says she might of moved her lips and kissed him back. She was very upset when i rang her and very scared i would split up with her because of it.I now dont know what to do, my friends say that its going to hurt but i should definatly not split up with her because she told me straight away and push him awayand it could be much worse. I agree it could of been much worse and she has done everything she could of done to make me aware of the sitaution. But i dont know, i love her sooo much, i adore her. I wanted to marry her one day and now everytime i think about her i get a mental image of her kissing another guy to extent where it clouding over every good memory i have of her. I just cant get over how she let it happen, she should of pushed him away before it got to the kiss. I know this may sound pathetic to some of you but i really really loved this girl and thought she felt the same and thats why im finding it so hard to comprehend why it happened!What do you think i should do?
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reader, Angel-lee +, writes (25 November 2005):
Tell her how you feel and tell her that it might take you some time to come to terms with the fact that she kissed someone else. She obviously loves you because she told you straight away but you are not in the wrong here, she is. Be honest with her and tell her that it might take you some time to be able to trust her completely again. She was drunk but that is no excuse. If she loves you she will understand this. Work at it, what you have sounds too good to throw away. Just tell her that if it happens again you will be gone. Be strict with her because if your not it could happen again. Good luck xx
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (23 November 2005):
 My heart goes out to you and I don't consider you pathetic at all but yes, this does need to be put into perspective.
I'm not saying that what she did was right but she did tell you straight away and it was obviously a very silly mistake she made when drunk. She has been extremely honest with you and she cares for you very much. She is worried she is going to lose you so don't allow that to happen.
It sounds as if what you both have is very precious. Hold on to it. Trust is a very delicate issue but keep in very regular contact.
At this moment in time, you are leading separate lives but both of you must make extreme effort to include each other in all that you are doing through communication because you can't be together.
Ask your girlfriend for reassurance and think of all the good and happy times that you have had when you find yourself thinking of this guy she 'kissed'. Remember how much she loves you and that we all make really silly mistakes from time to time.
I really hope this helps.
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