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male
age
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anonymous
writes: i work long hours, and often have to work away.my partner of 4 years, will ring me on my mobile or text me late at night, when i am away - but i need my own space and never answer her call. she will then keep ringing me and texting until the morning,she keeps accusing me of seeing someone else and it driving me mad.she tries to get my phone but i block it and keep it with me all the time.i tell her to relax as i love her loads, but she keeps saying something isn't right and feels insecure.if she can't trust me, maybe we should split up as her nagging is driving me nuts
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): im in a similar situation my fiancee and i are to be marreid soon but i have dicoverd he talks to an old friend which is female im not happy with the situation because he is hiding her i dont know her but if they are only friends why hide your phone why cant they speak in front of you if they have nothing to hide it does give reason to belive that somthing is not right woman sense this let me tell you. its like someone got your tummy and tied it up in a thousand knots and you feel sick espesiaclly if she loves you
A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (15 December 2006):
 Without realising it, you have contributed to her nagging.
Take the first phone call so that she give the space you need til the morning.
You both need to seriously talk about the future of your relationship, but not on the phone.
Talk face to face, explain that her insecurity and lack of trust has made an impact on your relationship already and agree on how you can both work at it.
Your partner needs to trust you and you need to be more supportive of her need to constant reassurance.
Without knowing the history as to why this situation has developed is it difficult to advice.
Assuming that this is a change, try to find out how the lack of trust now, this is if you have not given other a reason to doubt you in the past. If you have it takes time.
If your partner was already needy, then you were aware of the "package".
Before deciding if you should break up on not hope you try to talk this through and make it work.
You would not stay with someone for four years unless you loved each other.
Good luck xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006): It sounds to me as if you are only fueling her insecurities!!.I mean you ignore her phone calls, Hide your phone from her what do you expect this poor girl to think?!.I can see that this really is perplexing you and you dont understand why your Girlfriend is acting the way she is but let me try to help you out. Ok set the scene Your working away from home and your gilrfriend calls, but you ignore it now maybe the first few times she thinks "ok he must be busy,Ill try again leter" or if its after work she might think "ok hes in the shower or something".So when she calls back again and again and again and you dont answer! what do you expect her to think after a few times this has happend?!. Shes bound to think that you are doing something you should'nt be if you always ignore her calls.All you need to do is tell her that your not always able to answer the phone when she calls you at work, and then tell her that you will make a point of calling her back a soon as you can. (and heres a novel idea, acctually do call her back and see how much happier she is!).Its not really alot to ask is it, that you answer your phone once in a while?. And why do you need to ignore her calls when you get off work if your in a hotel or where ever it is you stay, I dont see that you could possibly be that tired that you cant call your Girl!.I'm assuming this did'nt start over night, it would have only of taken a few days of this to send me crazy I can tell you!. I dont see why you would'nt want to talk to this poor women when your done at work, she just wants to have a chat and make sure your ok after work, and she probably misses you too.So dont put all the blame on her, the blame lays heavily at your door too!.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2006): Maybe you should do her a favor and let her go. When two people are in a committed relationship, building trust is an ongoing process and two people are always working hard at 'earning it' and keeping that trust intact and strong. The reason why your gf is doing this to you, is she really does feel insecure, unhappy and her trust in you is very, very shaky. Why? Likely because of all these uncaring, very unloving actions you are doing to her. Listen hun, you need to fully realize you are purposely ignoring her needs to be cherished by you. You never answer her calls, you block the phone...this is plainly hurting her and I have ask, why are you delibrately doing this? What is she supposed to think? When a man truely loves his woman, he will assure her-he wants to talk to her-be with her-connect with her. .
To be honest with you? Dear, you work out of town and she misses you, terribly. You do not miss her nor can you be bothered to call her and let her know you are thinking of her. Your unthinking behaviours say that loud and clear. And from what I read in your posting, it really sounds like you simply don't care. So you have a choice. Pull up your socks and start loving her more openly and cherishing her. If you cannot do that..then end it. Give her the opportunity to get over you, heal and recover which eventually will enable her to go and find someone who can give her the admiration, loyalties, respect and love, she wants and deserves. If you don't want to lose her, I think you need to really think about how you are treating her and ask yourself, if you do love her. If you do still love her-stop your complaining about her, get out of that blaming mode and find the ways you can show her more love and make her feel wanted and loved by you.
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