A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am really confused about this girl. I have asked her out three times, seeing as she has never said no, just not now. Whenever i say anything about a relationship, she always says something about this day and time. For example, she said "stay friends for now" and "here life is really crazy right now, but..."Am i just paranoid by picking up on this and its just her way of being nice? Or is there something that she means by adding "for now" at the end? I asked her if i should give up on her ever going out with me and she said "No, but its up to you" Please help with any advice or insight!!!!!!!!!!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): Move on. Don't pressure her.
Two things could be going on here:
1) She likes you, but has issues with herself or with you that prevent her from agreeing to "be with" you.
2) She doesn't like you like that, and probably never will, but she values your friendship enough that she's unwilling to risk being more firm and saying, "No. Never. Not like that."
The best thing for you to do is take a break from her. Stop doting on her and trying to help her all the time. If she really does like you, she'll pick up the slack. If she doesn't, then the gap between you two will always be as wide as you make it, and while she may miss your company, she doesn't need you, which is a good indicator that she doesn't like you like that. However, if she picks up the slack, and makes the necessary adjustments to her life to keep you near her, that's a good indicator that she values you very, very highly. That doesn't mean that you should go back to obsessing on how she may or may not feel for you though. Live your life man. If it happens, it happens. If not, at least you have her as a friend.
A
female
reader, 19BFL  +, writes (4 May 2007):
Well from a womans point of view it is obvious there is more going on with this girl than meets the eye. It seams as though she is afraid to commit to the relationship that you want.
I think you can definatly be assured she likes you as she wants to be your friend to begin with.
This is your opportunity.
First forget your plans of asking her out for the fourth time and just focus on being there for her. By doing this you will not only get to know her more but also gain her trust to the extent of her explaining the real reason for her letting you down.
have faith in her!
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