A
male
age
36-40,
*amienh
writes:5 years ago me and my partner that I have children with went through a very rough patch and I ended up cheating on her.Me and her friend ended up falling for each other but in the end I couldn't deal with the guilt and told her what has been going on.But she wanted to continue and try again and we went on to have a second child.And we split up around four months ago.Because she could never get over what happened.And I have now been in a relationship with someone else just over a monthShe is wonderful and fulfill all my needs in life but I'm not in love with her.But I have since started talking to the girl which I cheated with and after five years of not speaking there seems to be a big Sparks still. If I was to start a relationship or get close to this person it would cause hell on Earth because of the past it could make it difficult for me to get along with my ex which I have the children with. I really have no idea which direction to go in.
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male
reader, Myau  +, writes (26 May 2016):
 Easy
to quote the song: Love the one your with.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 May 2016):
 sureee, ignore what you already know about your ex wife (the mother of your children) and how any relationship with the woman you cheated with will affect the relationship you have with your ex wife and children and focus on where you dick will be happiest!!
For heaven's sake man! If you are not happy in the relationship you are in, then end it, it has only been a month after all.
I have one of life's big secrets to impart .... you do NOT have to be in a relationship to have a fulfilling life.
Got that?
The most important job you have in front of you is to ensure your kids are able to experience a childhood with two parents who RESPECT each other, who can show them that while parents may no longer be romantically in love to be able to work together for the best outcome for all.
This means IGNORING your wife's former friend who you cheated with, I think you seem to be ignorant of the fact your ex wife was betrayed by the two people who should have been there for her, the husband and the best friend .... a toxic mix if there ever was one and you (YES YOU) want to revert to that?
If you care one iota for the well being of your children you will not go there .... got that dumb head?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 May 2016):
 I cannot understand why anyone with a child would consider cheating and then going on to have a second child. It is very careless and irresponsible. But anyway here you are. If you are not in love with your partner let her go, it is unfair to keep her around just for your benefit, allow her the chance to meet someone who will love her. Now as for the woman you cheated with, if you want to be with her then give it a shot you have nothing to lose, it has nothing to do with the mother off your children who you get with as you are no longer together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2016): You don't sound as if you should be in a relationship right now. If you don't love someone don't use that person just because she's "wonderful and fulfills your needs". She may actually believe (with your help of course) that you care for her. That's selfish and immature and is a sign of fear of loneliness. Are you capable of being on your own?I am not accusing you, just asking.Your priority should be your CHILDREN and your self growth. Now, regarding that women you've cheated with... I suspect she's no more than your fantasy of freedom. With her you felt no obligations, no pressure. Do you think you'll feel the same way if you two start dating? Love is unconditional, but relationships aren't. Your ex has no right to be mad at you now. If anything she should have been mad when you cheated on her and not let you stay and have another child with you. Now, your life is none of her business.Based on the little info you provide, the best thing would be to be on your own for a while and focus on your kids. Set your priorities, know what you want and what you have to offer. At the moment you sound like a butterfly looking for the best flower.
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