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male
,
anonymous
writes: i am seriously in turmoil.i am having an affair with a married woman who is beautiful,sexy,fun and a fantastic lover.she said she wants to be with me,the question is not whether she would or not.the question is trust on my part,as she has shown some behaviour which can point to her been unable to be faithful to one man e.g.she craves adolation(she gets a lot as well),she let slip of past relationships(she said i never felt like this in all my past relationships) but always maintained she had only two i.e.her marriages and last month she felt ambivalent about us getting into my car together because a man who was obviously fancying her may see us as there may be repercussion since we are not officially a couple.in my heart of heart i know she cannot stay faithful,she does love me and i her.i believe her lifestyle is fine as she is happy,life is too short to be sad but am i the right person for her as i will have my doubt.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006): You have chosen to 'love' a woman who is everything you want...except for one thing, she's married. And you are wondering if she can be trusted? No, you aren't the right person for her if you are experiencing these many doubts. Doubts and mistrust that plague a relationship will inevitably end. Let's be realistic---she has a past of repeated infidelities.Do you think this woman will ever be just 'your one true love", dear? There is that miniscule possibility, she may change for you but the odds are against you. When choosing a woman for a lifetime comittment, you have to choose caredully. Look beyond her appealing traits and think about whether she has the same relationship values as you. I tell you, she won't look so appealing if she does the same thing to you.And you want her to 'open her eyes and see what she's missing' by loving you back and becoming committed to ONLY you? Why not 'really' open yours and see what you are missing. Relationships are hard work..it takes compatibility, communication, and patience, like no other and the most important factor...trust. Before you can consider any relationship built on love and respect, you need rock solid trust. Trust is foundational. Just remember, there are plenty of beautiful, sexy, fun 'available' women out there, who'd commit to you. Go find one. Good luck and take care
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (3 June 2006):
 Choices to be made here, you will not change her and this you already know, so either decide to put up with her behaviour and except it and realise you may always just be her "affair" and lets be honest here, she is cheating on husband and so she will cheat on you.
Or you can decide self respect and the chance of finding a woman who wants just you and to have a full on relationship with you and be just with you is what you want.
The choice is yours
The ch
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