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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I got in a fight recently because he misunderstood something I said, that wouldn't normally be taken as offensive to a person, but didn't let me know how he interpreted it. He never asked though, he just got mad and when he finally told me how he felt I apologized and tried to let him know what I really meant and that I would never have meant to hurt him. Instead of forgiving me though he said he didn't believe that I was sorry and said I hurt him so bad that he didn't know if he wanted to forgive me, he wanted a week break, and wasn't sure if he still loved me. I don't believe love just comes and goes with fights and this is the second time he's doubted his love, but he changes so quickly and has a history of taking it out on me when he's upset about something else. We talked it out and are better but how can forgive him and believe that he truly loves me. What should I do? I don't think it's fair for him to be like that, but he still doesn't think he was being unfair. thak you all. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006): I think a lot of people mistake love as something is automatic when you get into a relationship. It's like s/he likes the other person so much, and once they get involved with each other, it's automatically, "I love you", or we're not together. Sounds pretty immature on his part.
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (3 June 2006):
 Your boyfriend is using a common abusive tactic. He is never letting you know where you stand with him, never letting you be in good standing, and always having to measure up to his requirements. It is unfair and it is very controlling and abusive.
As I counsel every person in a relationship that is headed down an abusive path, dump him now and never look back.
You sounds very intelligent and so it surprises me a bit that you ever considered dating this guy. Yet you are asking the right questions so I am sure you will do the right thing.
GOOD LUCK!!!
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