A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of almost 3 years has been divorced twice (once was really young and it was a dumb mistake). We met online through dating service. She has 2 kids. The father is out of the picture completely. I have never been married and have no kids of my own. Since our first date she has come across as desperate and pushy about our relationship. I explained to her from day one that I needed to take things slow at my own pace. Now after almost three years I want to ask her to marry me, but she keeps getting all upset that I haven't asked her, and it keeps ruining the situation. We argue about it, Why havent you asked me? she says. I tried to explain to her the past 6 months or more that she just needs to stop worrying and freaking out and let it happen. I even said it's supposed to be a surprise. She lets it go for a bit and then it resurfaces. I have a ring I'm paying for. But she brought it up again last night. It just keeps ruining it for me! Now I"M freaking out thinking what am I getting myself into? HELP!!
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Never never go into a marriage when you feel pressured! This is one of the worst things that you can do. You need to step back and really search your heart for what you feel for her. She does sound very desperate for whatever reasons, and I can imagine it is quite frustrating and even frightening if you aren't at the same place that she is. You should try to talk to her again, explain specifically that you are feeling pressure and you just can't continue to go on this way. Personal note--this kind of situation happened to my guy, he felt pressured and trapped by his girlfriend and his parents and hers, he married her, said he wasn't ready...2 years later they were divorced. He told me that he just felt so pressured and realized after he married her that he just didn't love her and had made a horrible mistake. DON'T JUMP IF YOU AREN'T READY!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): Dont let her push you because iit is what'she' wants....Be honest with yourself...is she really the woman you would want to spend the rest of your life with? or are you just thinking about marriage because she has drummed it into your ear so many times?....If you are proposing just to please her then I'm afraid it is not for the right reasons and you will feel trapped....If this is not what you really want with her find the courage to tell her ...She may not be the right one for you but that is for you to decide
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