A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my hubby have been TTC for about 1 and 1/2 years, his sister is pregant with her 3rd child and i am really happy for her, but my hubbys bro and his gf have been TTC for about 9mths and she just fell pregant.which im was happy for her but now im sick of it and it kills me to be around her, as all she can do is talk bout the baby and pregancy, she even has stole the girls name we picked out and it really bugging me.i no most of you will see im just jealous and with that said i would agree 110% but i need help because i still need to be around her and i dont want to feel like this... ...but then again she nos she is doing it, i have said nicely to her that it kills me that im not pg yet and it makes me feel im failing on my hubby but she just goes on and on... we have been close friends for a good wee while and it driven me mad god i feel like crying so much can anyone help me ??
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthats another thing she threw it in my face by saying that we might no be able to have a baby.. then i told her that we were thinking bout going for the tests but i was scared then she told my hubbys mum and dad and his bro and it made me feel so small...and like we were at her house yesterday and me and her were maken dina and she was like i cant bend down and stuff and how *fat* she is getting and she has a sore back and blah blah blah (she is onli like 6weeks)then my hubbys bro cum in and took over for her and i think thats wat it maken it worse is she puttin it to the max...then 10mins later she was messing round on the floor with the dogs and not a thing wrong with her
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have not told her to stop talking bout it just kinda hinted that wen she rubbs it in it hurts because i dont wana annoy her, and i hate feeling like im diein inside and its a really senitive subject, tho i cant wait to meet my neice r nephew.i just want to get over it and to be happy for her
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A
female
reader, HeidiK17 +, writes (15 April 2010):
Her actions are of someone who is insecure. In putting you down, by rubbing her pregnancy in your face, it makes her feel better about herself. Many people who act in such away towards another are actually jealous of them. The fact that she took the name that you intended for your child is copying you and imitation is the highest form of flattery.
Take her attitude as a complement and avoid her like the plague - you deserve better than this. If she asks why you've not seeing her tell her again why. It is just cruel for her to continue talking like this to you.
I agree with the earlier answer you received that it is well overdue for you and your husband to seek medical advice with this matter. Don't be snubbed off, insist on tests asap. You could also do with talking to someone as it sounds as if you are getting depressed over the situation. Ask the GP to refer you for counselling or search on the net for a organisation that supports people in your position.
Having children is not the fantasy that you currently think it is. It is draining and very hard work. Your life with change dramatically and you will never probably sleep properly again. Don't let a fantasy of idyllic motherhood dominate you - try to enjoy your life as it is or you will get trapped in a spiral of depression. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth +, writes (15 April 2010):
you cant really tell this lady to stop talking to you about it and you have to think how you would behave if the shoe was on the other foot. if you fell pregnant first you would want to tell the world and talk about it all the time especially as its the first child.
It sounds like you feel like a bit of a failure, have you been to the dr's to discuss the fact that you haven't fallen pregnant yet?
were you on the pill be fore TTC because this can take months to get out of your system before you can conceive so although you have been trying for a long time it might not have been that long afterall.
there are many factors that can affect it, it could even be your husband.
see a doctor and tell him about your worries and he might send you for tests.
my best friend has just had her first and although there was nothing wrong with her or her husband it took them two years.
unfortunately its not an exact science and sometimes it can happen after a one off and sometimes it can feel like it is taking forever.
best of luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): Hmmm and you Have talked to her about it and made it clear that it really hurts you? Thats not right that she keeps going on about it then. I hate for you to have to do this but is there any way you can get your husband to tell his bro so HE can talk to his wife about it, its kind of a he said she said thing, but maybe it will get through her head if her husband confronts her about it maybe it will get through. I understand that she maybe excited, and if it was her first I could understand why she keeps going on, but its her 3rd... the only really exciting parts are gender, painting the room, and when it comes out, she shouldn't be going on and on about it when it hurts you. If she brought it up occaisionally yeah I'd tell you to chill out but if she constantly bringing it up I think any person in your position would feel exactly the same way. But try getting her husband to talk to her about it, maybe that will help. Good luck. And ususally right when you stop trying and expecting ot get pregnant, thats when it will happen!!! I hope that helps!!!
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