A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I want to ask this, because its going through my mind right now, there's this girl im going out with, shes like my best friend (1 of them), im attracted to her alot more mentally than physically, don't get me wrong i love her to bits but i find it hard to get around the fact shes a bit more bigger than i am, ( in the nicest way), am i really a horrible person to fuss over physical attractions when I really like her for who she is..?any help will be greatly appreciated Joe
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female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (4 May 2006):
 I have to say that I was not actually judging everyone as brainless when I said about attractive slim people CAN BE shallow SOMETIMES not all as I would never label everyone in this way I am just saying a certain percentage CAN BE just as some large people can be shallow for all manner of reasons and not down to just weight issues, as that is not what I am about.
I cannot agree with Pepper when she says about perhaps buying your friend a lovely dress as you would either have to ask her what size she is and she may not want to tell you or if you get a size smaller she will possibly feel highly embarrassed and know immediately what you are getting at.
Talking to her in the first instance is the best option and find out more about what her long time goals are and she could quite easily bring up about her weight.
I will not take the comments of Pepper personally but I do think that she has not read about the fact that I was saying that SOME people and NOT all thin/slim/attractive people.
Just think long and hard about how much you like this girl and just take it from there.
BFN
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (3 May 2006):
 Are you more worried about what ohters will think if they see you with a larger than average lady or is this just about you? Think carefully before answering?!?!
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (3 May 2006):
Hi Joe
Are you normally interested in the slim, average size of girl?
If this girl is stimulating you mentally but you feel that you cannot see past the fact that she is bigger, do you show it in any way?
Any person can change their size but it all depends on whether she is happy as she is or if she does want to lose weight. What sort of size are we talking here? Is she like 24 and you are a size 12 or is the size difference not that great?
You can change a shape physically but you cannot have a fantastic figure and then the person has no brain power at all which is quite often the case. Someone who is bigger as I should know often has to content themselves with knowledge, reading etc as they are not always accepted by others because they don't fit into the norm category.
It really does depend on how deep your feelings go for this girl and if you can see a future together.
Have you ever really talked to her about size etc as you may find that she would like to be smaller but the issue has never been brought up. If she doesn't feel awkward or uncomfortable as she is then that is something you will have to accept and then it all depends on you to see what is more important, size or personality and sweet nature.
More attractive slim people can be shallow sometimes so just bear it in mind.
It really does come down to whether you want something more with this girl or not. Just don't wait forever as someone else could find this girl attractive for every reason, both personality and figure and so you have to ask yourself whether you would kick yourself at that time.
If you want to let me know how things go, I would be interested to see how things progress for you.
BFN
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