A
male
age
36-40,
*heplatypus
writes:I started dating this girl about 6 months ago, not long after we started dating I found out she had a boyfriend. She said it was nothing serious and she was just waiting on the right time before she dumped him. I thought that was okay. But then she showed up at one of my friend's(not hers) party with her boyfriend knowing I would be there, so being really drunk and mad, I made out with another girl at that party. Well she flipped out and told me I was a liar and a cheater and was trying to date both girls at the same time just to get some action. and she didn't know if she could ever look at me the same or trust me again. So, being the guy that I am, I instantly regretted it and began apologizing and told her I would work for as long as it took to regain her trust so we be together and be happy and "prove" to her that I was better than this guy she was dating. well there was more drama with her flip-flopping back and forth between us than there is on a day-time soap opera, but it took her 4 more months to break up with him and when she finally did I thought it would just be the two of us, but it's like every time we get into an argument or I'm not doing something she approves of, she instantly starts texting him or calls him and says she misses him or goes and hangs out with him. she says it's because they were friends before they started dating. and they only dated a couple months. yet, she only hangs out with him when she gets mad at me or if I want to go do something that she doesn't want me to do.But it has been 6 months since I made out with that other girl at the party, and because of that she won't let me hang out with any of the friends that "associate" with that girl, and I literally grew up with these guys (we're all 23yrs old now.) But not only that, but she won't let me go to a bar, party, concert, Bar-B-Que or anywhere that I am going to be drinking unless she is with me, because she thinks that if she isn't there I am going to randomly make out with somebody or cheat on her. and when I talked with her a couple nights ago about going to a concert with one of my best friends since grade school she said "I don't trust you to go to another state and get drunk with a bunch of drunk girls around. I trust you when you're with me or my family, but not with your friends or by yourself. and not only do I not trust you to mess around, but I don't even think you'd tell me about it, and to be completely honest, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but it's because of you making out with that girl at the party."I know she's immature, and I know she's controlling. and I've told her to get over the whole make out thing and she just says she can't. I can't reason with her at all, it's her way or no way. It has gotten me to the point that I'm questioning whether or not I even want to be with her anymore.
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male
reader, theplatypus +, writes (30 June 2010):
theplatypus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok, so between here and talking amongst my friends I really think it's best for the both of us if I just end it. and I know it's going to be hard because I really do care about her. My prediction is that I'll bring it up and she is going to flip out and say or do any and everything she can to hurt me and storm away and not talk to me.. But just in case, what should I do if things go the exact opposite way? like what if she breaks down and cries and tells me that she'll fix this and it'll be ok and we can make things work.. Which she may really mean those things when she says them, but it'll never actually happen and I know this. But how would I handle that?
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (30 June 2010):
 She's only happy because she thinks you've locked yourself up in your house, now that you're away from her, you finally feel relieved, and you're more worried about her being a bitch after you break up, then actually breaking up with her.
Your relaitonship definitely needs to end.
It might very well suck once she starts falunting her junk and hangin all over other guys, but you can say, "good luck with that one man, I'm just glad I'm not with her anymore," and laugh it off.
Does an after-breakup affect sound worse to you, then being stuck in a cage for any longer; only going out with her permission; watching every person you talk to; being constantly cheated on (because that is what she was doing)...
Toughen up big guy!
~SY
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A
male
reader, theplatypus +, writes (30 June 2010):
theplatypus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsincerely, lol yeah she's hot. And see, the day before I posted my story, she went out of town for a couple days and was convinced I was going to be sneaking around while she was gone. But we hang around the same groups of people so I'm assuming none of her friends have seen me out and so she is convinced I'm not even going out. But now she's acting like everything between us is fine.. and I guess my not leaving my house is why. and she sent me a text that read:
"baby you are awesome, I talk about you all the time and every time I remind myself how lucky I am. I absolutely love and adore you and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have such an incredible man in my life."
I don't know, it's only been a couple days apart and I've never understood the expression until now, but I finally feel like I can breathe again. and it's not so much the breaking up with her I'm worried about, I know it's going to be hard on both of us. but as immature as she can be, and us being around the same groups of people I'm really more worried about her rubbing the breakup in my face. As in her showing up somewhere she knows I'm going to be, and being all over another guy in front of me, or trying to hook up with one of my friends. I know it sounds stupid of me to say that, but she HAS said before that I should always remember how much it bothers me to see her with someone else if I ever decide to break up with her... she said that casually when we were joking around.. but I really think she was serious.. please help me out..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 June 2010):
You need to dump her. You just need to get away from this seriously troubled girl.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (29 June 2010):
OMG break UP with her already! Hypocritical, controlling, paranoid, whiney, bitchy, cheater...
I'm having a hard time coming up with good characteristics. I'll try though...
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Is she hot?
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