A
male
age
30-35,
*eliuX
writes: Alright, Where to begin... I've just been dating this girl for about 2 1/2 months now, but after the first month everything changed... You see I'm currently unemployed and unable to drive due to the drought of money so i cant afford my car insurance. She is the one that does all the driving... and i am trying so flippen hard to get a job so i can finally drive and take the weight off of her shoulders. That's just my confession right there... and right now... Driving is the only thing she does for this relationship. I'm a guy that is proud to say is far from a dime a dozen.. I work so hard in every relationship that I'm in and take that good feeling to the bank every day. I always make sure i have my cell on me so that i can promptly respond to her, i buy her "just because" gifts that i KNOW she wants:) and when she is at work, I'll sneak in and drop off a bag with some simple things to remind her that i care. Ill send her a text 'just because' saying "I love her" so that she will never forget it. I one day planned out an entire day from Avalanche Hockey Tickets, to dinner, to some billiards, a Treasure hunt to find a present I got her, and then end it in romance... That entire day was ruined because i really don't know... something happened on her end, but i wanted it to be a surprise. I try so hard to make it work... She is a "pot" head.. to say the least... But she is a functioning one. One day I sat her down and addressed the fact that when she smokes pot around me she just changes. Her smile isn't as bright, her eyes are dim, and so on and so forth. According to her that was a huge wake up call and after that she has started to lose interest in hanging out with me and all her friends... (I don't smoke pot) Although it looks like she still tries harder with her friends than me... She says she is in love with me and i pride myself on knowing lies when I'm face to face with someone. It wasn't as far as i could tell.. Just i feel like she isn't interested even when she says she really is... Sex, Literally i do all the work... I would like some help... she just hides behind the saying that she is inexperienced.. In the end ill give you a TRULY moderate comparison and effort between both parties done. 5 to 1. I want it to work just don't know how to play this situation.. should i just hold my head and be patient, or is she playing me without her even knowing?By the way maybe i need to stop dating 18 year old women... ugh. Thanks,HeliuX
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at work, money, smokes, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ShiShisAdvice +, writes (12 January 2011):
 She's not a pot head call it what it is a drug user and you are an enabler! Move on and of course, stop dating younguns.
A
male
reader, HeliuX +, writes (11 January 2011):
HeliuX is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you i just need reasurance to my relationship. i love her but really i know i deservebetter... guess im just a guy that loves commitment.
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A
female
reader, LeahVictoria  +, writes (11 January 2011):
Maybe i should stop dating 18 year old woman ugh...
Well that comment really shows how you feel. You have only been dating 2 and a half months, honestly this is meant to be the best time in any relationship.
No she doesnt seem 100% in this relationship and neither do you.
My advice is to continue working hard, saving all the money you can and getting that car that your really want. Think hard about this relationship is it really what you want.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Ok well first off two and a half months is not an awful long time for two people to be madly in love with each other, you say you doubt her, who was the first to say those 3 words, because if it was you then maybe she just felt the need to say them back to you but doesnt actually mean it.
It sounds to me like you are putting a lot of work in to this relationship and getting nothing in return which leads me to the question why are you putting up with it? She is obviously not trying very hard as you are doing all the work. She is only 18 therefore she is probably at the stage were she want to impress her friends more than a boyfriend.
The only thing you can do here is sit down with her and explain to her how you feel and tell her she needs to start making more of an effort if the relationship is going to work out.
Goodluck.
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