A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i was dating this girl for a year and a half. everything was good. i made the decision to enlist in the military. during the couple months beforei left. we grew really really close. i ended up getting discharged cause of a health condition and came home around 6 or 7 weeks later. everything was ok, but i had alot of stuff going on and i wasnt able to be the same person i was for a little while until i got used to everything again. we broke up a month after i got home, it was mutual but started by her. i understood why she wanted to and there was no fighting. a few days later she called and said it was more of a break. we remained really clsoe like we were dating all the way up till about the end of august. we started getting distant but either one of us would initiate conversation and we would start talking alot and stuff. i would still do things for her and what not, and a time or two it was possible to do things sexual but i didnt initiate it, and let it go, but since gte end of august its been up and down, between not really talkni g or anything to talking more than friends and stuff. idk what to do cause i feel she is getting the best of everything while having the ability to not be in a relationship but have me still. theres no other guys and or girls for either of us. she said she didnt want a relationhship when we broke up. shes a really good girl which is the hard part, and also we are so compatible and just always ahd a good time and goofed around and jsut everything. and i dont know what to do. i feel like im hurting inside cause i wouldnt mind being togeher again cause i feel there is still more left, but she is confusing. what should i do
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti +, writes (15 November 2009):
I'd have to say, bide your time. Let her process how she feels about you, and let her come to you. You've obviously been through something quite awful in the Military and need to concentrate on yourself for awhile without having this girl's issues making you crazy! If something is meant to work out, I feel sure it will happen in its own time.
Take a step back and just hang out with your friends for awhile, they'll give you different perspectives and a chance to vent your feelings without needing to bounce ideas off the girl you like, and possibly endangering your relationship further!
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