A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend of 3yrs with whom i have a son of 1yrs old constantly accuses me of chat sex and other things like lying ect. i confronted her on numerous occations that its all made up in her head but she persists. on numerous occations i-ve caught her lying chatting to ex bf flirting on facebook ect but she always plays it down like its nothing and tries to shift the attention on me. she also has a promiscuous past of sex drugs and lies i see the good in her and fell in love with that person. but she is always hiding her past and other things like what she an d her gf are up too. she hides her emails ect. i love her and my son but she persists on trying to lie to me...i love her but how can we survive this problem please help why does she do this and what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): she will not change her promiscuous behaviour. she may be one of these women where 1 is not enough. don't expect her lying ways to stop.
your kid is number one priority. protect him from his mothers wayward ways.
A
female
reader, FlyWoo-Man  +, writes (19 September 2009):
 In my opinion she has low self-esteem and/or security issues. I used to have this for awhile which caused me to be severely jealous, and imagine things. What helped was to go to a psychologist. Now I have more control over my emotions, but I so remember cheating on my boyfriend because I was the one who suspected of him, so this was a way to avoid my problems. I do suggest having a counselor, or a third person to discuss your issues and let you guys see one anothers' perspectives, and help her overcome these harsh issues.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfirst thanks 4 the words of wisdom i realy appreciate your input. i defnitely put my son 1st and i will do anything to protect him. im just worried that because of him im maybe being to soft on her.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (19 September 2009):
 Honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship. Often people who are dishonest and hide a part of themselves do so because of insecurities they have. She should confider dealing with self esteem issues first then she needs to just be very open and honest about everything she is doing. If she isn't doing anything wrong then there should be nothing to hide. There is nothing wrong in chatting with an ex if its just a platonic innocent conversation BUT she needs to be honest about it and tell you. Both of you need to work on trusting and being honest with one another. If you really love each other then you shouldn't even think about doing things that you might need to hide from the other person.
Just talk to her calmly and tell tel her how much you love her for whom she is and reassure her that she can talk to you about anything and you will not be judgmental. if you are sincere maybe she'll feel safe so in the future she will be able to be totally open with you. you guys should be each others best friend not be hiding things from each other like little kids hide things from their parents. Good luck to both of you:)
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