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writes: I started going out with a lady from work. She started everything when she asked me out. I did have an interest but she initiated things. It started out slow because I did not want to move too fast and the relationship end up failing and us still having to work together. I figured it would be weird. Everything started out well. Things began progressing and then it kind of started backing up. We never see each other any more out side of work. She makes excuses always why she can’t see me. I make plans with her and every time something comes up. I just stopped talking to her at work and stopped calling her a week ago with intentions to distance myself and eventually just ending it. She called two days later wondering why I was mad with her and crying stating she did not want to break up, she had feelings for me. I have had this conversation with her about never seeing each other at least two times prior and it still has not changed. After she called me crying, I decided to try again only to have the same problem. She had a bad break up a couple of years ago and has not dated since. I have a sneaking suspicion she is scared of getting involved again getting hurt, as a result of her previous experience, so she keeps me at a distance. I don’t know what to do. I really like this girl and would like to move forward it to an actual relationship. All I have now is a phone relationship and she lives not more than five miles from me. The whole thing right now is just making me unhappy.
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reader, Rainee  +, writes (13 May 2005):
 If you know where she lives, why not go for a surprise visit? Don't be stalker-creepy, bring her some flowers or something, and (in person) tell her you really care for her and would like be together with her more. Let her know that it's ok to be hurt after a relationship, but it's time for her to open up again and let a great guy in her life once more - she can't hide from the world forever.
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reader, miss dizzy +, writes (8 May 2005):
First of all, you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. If it doesn't work, then remain civil at work and move on, put it behind you. You sound like a nice guy and there's plenty of girls out there looking for a guy like you. So go out there and have fun and who knows you might find that special someone.
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