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His dad says he can't marry me and that my b/f has to have a traditional, arranged marriage...

Tagged as: Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 May 2005) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 December 2005)
A , *ia writes:

Should I stay or go? I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, we are very much in love and want to get married. We are both Asian, of the same religion; however I never knew how strict his parents were.

Over 2 months ago, he told his dad he was seeing me and wanted to marry me, his dad said no, and his son was to get a traditional arranged marriage. This was so hurtful to hear from my boyfriend. Since then his dad has still not changed his mind and it's causing major arguments between me and my boyfriend. The question of 'shall we keep seeing each other if we're not going to get married?' keeps coming up.

I love him so much but it hurts both of us every day when we see each other knowing this. I don't know what the best solution is; should I keep waiting and see what happens with his family or should I just end the relationship?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005):

Good griefff!!!! You choose your parents decision and you will spend the rest of your life wondering and regretting the happiness that you could have had, if you made the right choice of following your heart! Parents, they grow old and die, their role is to guide and help their children, not to control them . So go ahead , be brave and runaway with your boyfriend and get married soon ! No delay.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2005):

I can't believe some people. How can your families really love you if they want to control you so badly? Your boyfriend, if he's a man and really loves you, should simply refuse to marry anyone but you, and the same for you. If you live in a western country, go to the police if your famliy tries to force you to marry because it's rape. If they want to live here they have to respect our laws and customs.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2005):

HI! I'm asian and had to have an arranged marraige. I was in love with this other guy but couldn't say anything to our parents as they are strict. But I'm so glad I didn't stay with him. I got married to the guy my parents chose for me. I've been married for 4 years and have 2 lovely daughters and get on with my hubby so well. I knew the other guy for 6 years. So you should think properly before you say anything to your or his parents. Do you think you will be together for ever.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2005):

That's terrible! Why dont you be brave and try talking to his dad? If it doesn't work you'll never have to see him again anyway. Tell his dad how much you love him and point out that his son's happiness should be the most inportant thing. otherwise you could always run away together to get married!!! then they will have no choice!

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