A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I am 21 and I am gay. My girlfriend and I got into an agrument one night at her house, so I grabbed all my stuff and told her I was leaving. I was actually leaving her for good, and she fought it. Thst's nice, but I needed to go home to cool off anyhow. Then she wouldnt let me go. She kept saying you're not going anywhere and just pushed me. I hit a dresser, a door, and she even threw me on her bed. Throughout all of this she had a hold of my wrists and was squeezing them tight so I couldnt do anything, and she also put her hands around my neck more than 4 times in a forceful manner. She was very very drunk, and she is stronger than I am so I was scared. I love her so much though. After all of that I ended it with her, but we have been talking and I want to just run back to her so much. I believe she is the one, even through all of this, but I dont want it to happen again. I dont know if I should go back to her or just cut my losses and live with a broken heart, but no violence in my life. I need to know what to do please.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 April 2013):
 Yes, she's the one. The one that will send you to the hospital, next time she gets as drunk or more.
The One ? If you believe for a minute that " the One " is a person capable of tryng to choke you, knock you about against furniture, and physically restrain you from leaving, you have a very skewed view of relationship and a lot of things to learn about love , and life .
Cut your losses and move on. At your age a broken heart can heal rather fast, a broken neck much less.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (16 April 2013):
Dear OP,
It's sad, but sometimes we get attached to people who aren't good for us. I don't know why, but somehow, we sometimes get ESPECIALLY attached to people who treat us like sh*t and tell ourselves that they can/will change. We start to make excuses for them. Explain all their misbehaviour by some exceptional circumstances etc. Their flaws make everything more dramatic and intense, and we think the emotional rollercoaster is a sign for passion when it's actually a warning that we lose control of our lives.
I would advise you, as I would any of my friends if they told me a story like this: Leave her. It doesn't matter if she's a woman or a man, if she was drunk or not. Threat is threat, violence is violence and she hurt you and destroyed the trust between you two.
Of course, I'm sure she feels sorry now. And that's good. She SHOULD feel sorry. But that doesn't mean you should go back. Sometimes sorry is not enough.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (16 April 2013):
 As sad as this makes you feel I think it is best to leave things as is. She put her hands on you and you were actually afraid of her why would you ever want to feel this way again. In order for you to get over her and start to heal you need to not talk to her put complete distance between the two and move on.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 April 2013):
"The One" doesn't abuse you and make you scared to be with them. Not to mention that you wanted to leave her before she hurt you.
At your age it can feel like you'll never be able to love someone so much, but I promise you, it's not remotely true. Someday you'll meet someone who you cared about just as much, but instead of making you scared they'll make you feel confident and protected.
Wait for that person, don't settle for anything less.
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