A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife of 11 years told me a couple times past few years that she wanted a divorce. Completely caught me off guard and I know that sounds crazy but I didn’t see it coming. She used to say it every time she got really mad. She said she wanted to work on it but then never engaged in the process. She said there was no single incident but named 4-5 over several years. She chewed on those all together and never let them go. Eventually all of that resentment took over and pushed the love out. She has gave me mixed signals saying she loves me she hates me, she loves me she hates me. Then she tells me she didn't mean it she was just saying mean stuff cause she was mad. One time she talked to our old neighbor he was our age and said a bunch horrible stuff i just wanted to die. She said it was just because she was mad. I just can’t simplify it to that level. We have 2 children 5 and 7, and at one time were absolutely happy even acknowledged by her now. I am so confused I don't know what to beleive. This shakes me to my absolute core. It makes you question your true beliefs. God, family, commitment, responsibility, self esteem. My biggest question in all of this is when someone chews on all of that resentment for that long and lets it shove the love out, is it truly gone? Seeking knowledge to try and make sense of things is both good and awfull at the same time. I can find countless articles about forgiveness and the ability to love again. In the majority of cases, it says it can happen. So now I will have to live with the fact that I may never know for sure if she loves me or hates me. The sadness of that is paralyzing.
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divorce, engaged, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): So what should I do...... Just leave? I have 2 children. They would lose the house for sure. I would be a real douche
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 Hi
Why are you still there taking it? How would she have reacted if it was you saying it to her? Forgiveness is one thing being your wifes whipping post is another thing entirely.
Unless she has some sort of recent medical/psychological reason for it,there is no excuse for treating you this way. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): I did the same thing..I was the same like your wife..one day I love you..next day I hate you.. my now exhb one day came to me and said: So you dont know what are you feeling anymore? Ok, I let you alone and you can figure out. I am done. We got divorce after that. I regret what I did but I hurted him soo much and he never NEVER forgot and forgive me...
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