A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:there is this guy whom I met online. Two years ago, he said he would try to come back to Singapore to live. He is working and living in Thailand. Two years later, while we are still communicating, he is still there. I asked him if he will honor his word and return to Singapore. He got irritated. while he has improved my life by advising me on the right things to do to improve my health, I have also helped him in other ways. He said to me, he won't fall for such tactics. As he has improved the quality of my life, he will not be less honorable and he said he wants me to enjoy every moment as we talk online. But he will not stop me from seeing anyone if I wanted to. My questions are:Will he be back?Was It wrong for me to phrase my need for his return and question his honorability in this manner?Is he communicating with me just because he wants to obtain more things from me?Should I cut off all communications with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe passed away. He was indeed suffering from terminal illnesses and so he could not come and visit me in Singapore. His friends contacted me after learning about him. Everyone respected him and loved him dearly. He spent his last two years with me online, coaching me to be a better and stronger person, and for that I am eternally grateful. They did not know him as well as they had hoped to do so because he was spending so much time with me during the last two years of his life. But I know they all loved him deeply and admired him.I think from this episode, I learnt that everything has a purpose and in this case, there was a reason for him to enter my life though a physical connection was impossible. we did develop a strong and meaningful mental and emotional connection over the last two years. That for which I am grateful for. Although I wish I had appreciated those moments with him online much more instead of wishing that he was with me.That chapter of my life has ended, but the lessons he taught me lives in me.Thank you all for the advice.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 April 2013):
 You sound strong and self-aware and confident. Best wishes to you as you continue your journey.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Tisha - 1, it is a great advice. I am moving on. I read the Power of Now and I realised what I must do and I have been practicing it. I have found inner peace and happiness within myself.
I shall let him go and I have learnt a lot through him and I guess he was with me for a Reason but not meant to be Lifetime.
I will continue my life journey and appreciate the ones around me more and the ones I can actually meet. No more online fantasies for me.
Thanks for the awakening.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 April 2013):
I expect he has a relationship with someone in real life and is trying to let you go by pretending to have a terminal illness.
The erratic spelling and frantic deletion of emails sounds more like an angry spouse or partner who is trying to get him to quit building relationships on line.
Please do your best to let this relationship go on into history and don't spend too much time or energy trying to figure out the 'why.' It is now past and mulling it over and dredging it up is a waste of your time here on earth.
Energy follows thought. Put your energy into building real life relationships with people who need you and can support you as your go on your life's path.
Best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe wrote to me a Dear John letter on Mar 23 2013. In his email, he said he has been dealing with his terminal illnesses for a long time and needs to take his peace. What does this mean?It occurred to me that he was already seriously ill when he hooked up with me on an online dating site and was not going to move to Singapore in 4 to 5 weeks as he said when we first wrote to each other. He said His only regret was the extreme pain he suffered in the last 5 yrs(which is why he never flew to Singapore and would not see me when I was in Thailand) and he has led an extraordinary life these past few years. He has chosen to pass his wisdom and knowledge to me (since he spoke and taught me every day for the last two years). I did learn a lot through him.I recall just before he sent me this Dear John Letter, his typing was atrocious and he was desperately trying to delete all emails from his webmail accounts. Is this normal of a person who is dying?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYup I no longer yearn for him to come back. I do think men like these have something to hide!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2012): I hope we're not 'seeing' the same man because he sounds like the man I'm seeing. In my case, we never discussed about the exclusivity because I know he's casually dating there. Your story sparked an interesting question: whether he would mind me dating other men because if he doesn't, I'm quite sure he doesn't have much thoughts about getting serious with me.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 "Met online" is the first clue that he's an idiot, he probably won't "be back" he's most likely got other online girlfriends he has to placate.
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