A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a two month relationship with my girlfriend and I have never pushed her to do anything she doesn't want to do. Yesterday night, while we were making out, I asked her something, and she said that she wasn't ready (it wasn't sex), and I said that was fine- that we will do it whenever she wants to. We kissed for a while after this, and I left her off at her apartment. I called her twice today to see if she wanted to go out, and she has not returned my calls. I know she is pissed because of what I asked, and I want to apologize to her. The question is, should I wait until she calls me to talk, or should I continue to call her myself? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe eventually showed up at my door and told me she had never been a in a relationship before and just felt overwhelmed. She was crying too.
Anyhow, fast forward to about a year later, she ends up cheating on me with a co worker 1 week before I returned from visiting home. Oh, college love.
Thanks for the advice!
A
male
reader, pavel38  +, writes (12 November 2007):
Is there a possibility she might not have been able to return your calls ? - e.g. working long hours etc. Not saying this is the case here but it's easy to sometimes think there's an issue when there isn't, & if you keep on calling her that might freak her out. I presume when you called her you left a message explaining you were sorry about last night & didn't want her to get the wrong idea ?. Personally I'd leave it for 24 hours & see if she contacts you before you try to contact her again, send flowers etc. If there's still no reply then I'd go round to her place & see her - that's the only way you'll know for certain if there's a problem, if you ring again & get a voicemail or get flowers delivered & don't hear you still won't know what's going on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): Why dont you put together a letter. Things never get said properly in a text message. Tell her that you are sorry, if you have offended her and can she get in touch with you. Just tell it as it is and let her decide. If she doesnt get in touch for a week after the letter, then accept that it is all over and she is too immature to let you know the decent way.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): Send her some flowers to her apartment or post her some chocolate with a note attached. I dont think that you need to appologise, just explain your reasons for asking. Its not wrong that you wanted to know where the boundarys were.
At least you asked - there are many that dont!
Just remember 2 months is not a long time to be with someone and I truely believe that she only hasnt answered your calls because she now thinks that sex and how to get it, is the only thing on your mind. Prove her wrong.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Hi
Since she isnt taking your calls she doesnt know that you want to apologize to her. You should send her a really sweet text saying how sorry you are. I am sure that she just needs to get her head around what you have asked her then everything would be ok. Once you have sent her the text, you should say (in the text) if and when you are ready to speak to me, please call me then you would know that it is up to her. Good Luck
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, sexi +, writes (12 November 2007):
Hi
Since she isnt taking your calls she doesnt know that you want to apologize to her. You should send her a really sweet text saying how sorry you are. I am sure that she just needs to get her head around what you have asked her then everything would be ok. Once you have sent her the text, you should say (in the text) if and when you are ready to speak to me, please call me then you would know that it is up to her. Good Luck
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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