A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 26 yr old male and i have been with my fiance for 7yrs and she as 26 as well we have one child together and he was born in 04 and I have done everything and tried everything but she is not interested in having sex with me,she hasnt really been interested in havin sex since he was born,sometimes she says she wants to then it goes away,so i would say she really hasnt wanted to have sex like a 26yr old should for about 3 yrs now,ive tried bein romantic,ive tried to do all kinds of foreplay with her,ive tried kissin on her on the neck and stuff and she is just like please stop,nothin i do seems to tuen her on,we have had this conversation numerous times and all she ever says is i dont know why but i just dont want too, what can i do?
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female
reader, Artistry +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Hi there, Taking into consideration that she has seen a doctor and there are no medical or emotional problems involved, ie, depression, or that she has just lost her sex drive. Then I go to the thought, that maybe she is not interested, because she has had a child, and she is still your fiancee and not your wife, and maybe she wants you to
propose, and she is doing this to get you to get the message. I could be wrong, but perhaps this is some kind of punishment. Now, if she does not want to get married, then I am totally off base. Talking honestly about whatever is going on with her, would be the solution, to getting to the bottom of what is wrong. Take her out of the house, without the child, go somewhere relaxing and talk first, about something other than her and the relationship, to let her warm up to the conversation. If she does not open up about the situation, then I would suggest a relationship counselor, someone skilled enough to bring out, what is deep inside her, regarding having sexual relations with you. Good luck with the situation. Take care.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Do you only ever show her affection when you want sex, does she feel that every time you touch her it means I want you later? Its normal to lose your sex drive after a child regardless of age but you have to work at it together to get it back. You need to romance her, put absolutely no pressure on her to have sex, massage her and pamper her a bit without it leading to sex or wanting sex and try and get the old magic back into your lives. Not easy but it can be done. Be more romantic all of the time and not just when you want sex and talk to her about this and tell her you will stop pressuring her. Give her a break by taking little one out on your own at the weekends once in a while.
I know you have needs too but the more pressure you put on her the more she will pull away and from experience the longer you dont have sex when you are not interested the less you become interested. You need to become more intimate but with just cuddles etc and build up slowly. Believe me I have been there and I am now so the opposite and cant get enough!!!! Good luck x
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (25 June 2008):
 She needs to get checked out by her doctor to see if there is some physical problem causing this. The doctor may also be able to write her a prescription for the female version of Viagra if it's warranted. Your wife must know how important intimacy is to a successful marriage and she should be willing to get checked out.
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