A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel as though i really want to be back with my ex girlfriend, we have been split up for about a month and a half now. I feel that she is going through a busy time in her life with uni etc but she told me that she couldnt carry on like we were ( because we kept arguing) and said it had to be the end. The next day i asked to talk 2 her and we did, she wouldnt have me back and she said i really cant im so sorry, i owe it to myself to be strong, it would be so easy for me to say yes but weve tried so hard already to make it work (which i feel as though i now know how upset i made her but i dont feel as though ive done everything i can, i feel like i have changed now) she also needed to be alone to find herself and be happy again, because she wasnt herself when she was with me, towards the end of the relationship. I agree with her, i think the breakup was the best thing for us, we couldnt of carried on making each other unhappy but after having time to sit down and think about everything that went wrong, i really miss her and want to be back with her, i told her how i felt the other night and she said she hadnt really thought about it, that she was looking forward to uni, holidays with mates etc but she said that she "supposes" now she has made the right decision, especially at this time in her life. I wanted to know if there was any chance of us getting back together and if not for her to tell me so i can move on with my life. She said its hard and she cant 100% say how she feels, bt she knows she isnt able to say i want us to be together. I really dont know what to do, i feel like i ow it to myself to try everything i can, i have given her space and time. She said she really wants us to be friends and that she cares for me so much and ill always have a special place in her heart. I cant help but wonder if she is scared that nothing will change? or if she just doesnt have time for me or anything anymore? Would it be daft to suggest that we maybe just start 'seeing' each other again, like at the beginning i.e spend time with each other as more than friends but not quite boyfriend and girlfriend - to begin with and see how it goes? So she doesnt feel pressures of having a 'boyfriend'? I would be happy to take it slow and make sure we make the right decision, i know in myself i have changed and would go about things so differently
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice, it does help. I feel almost let down that i cant be given another chance at this moment in time. Her decisions are usually for the best, but i feel i do need to move on in my life because this past 6 weeks have eaten me up and i cant live thinking i might get back with her in a couple of months or watever. As far as her calling me is conserned i dont feel overly confident, because she is a stubborn person. However she was the first person to text me about four days after we split up to make sure i was ok and she said she needed to get some sleep she has been shattered. I do feel that we were right together, but its taken this to make me realise. We were close and she used to always tell me how much she loved me. Its almost as if she is talkin herself into not giving me another chance. i do hope there is a chance still there but its knowing if there is or isnt?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): Hello there mate,
I think she hasnt said "there is no chance we will get back together" because she cares about you. Obviously you were close and loved each other, but she feels its youre not right for each other. She wont be cold or be a bitch and say "its over 100%, no chance" because she is isnt cruel. You are obviously distraught about it, and you have done everything you can to give her another chance. If she wants to give it another go then she'll call you, but as it stands you should go out enjoy the summer see your friends and enjoy being single again.
Hope this helps in someway.
Good Luck.
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