A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so im in quite a dilemma here. i havnt been with anyone in over two years as a self choice. lost the love of my life and been hurt to many times by others. unfortunately I work with a girl who im extremely interested in. something about her is so different. but she does have a boyfriend. we are extremely close. closer than any normal friends should be. I can tell exactly what she's thinkin thru text for example. her bestfriend who also works with us says she can be herself around me. I've told her about my feelings for her and how I can't be her friend anymore to try and stop all this but I was told she did nothing else but cry for 3 days after I said that. that killed me to hear that. one night she called me and she said she couldn't do it anymore that she wanted to talk with me again. somedays even when I refuse to hug her cuz im sweaty or something she'll say "i don't care I wanna hug from you". I want to be with her but she has a boyfriend. im not quite sure what to do here. now I have another girl mutual friend of both of us that knows bout my feelings for that girl and is acting all jealous and I know she has a thing for me. what do I do bout all this. its all overwhelming. what do I do wit all this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Well, the simple truth of the matter is if this girl really liked you romantically she would dump her boyfriend for you. But the longer she keeps her boyfriend, the more it means she just likes you as a friend. You may be a really good friend to her, but that's all.
My advice is, if she stays with her boyfriend, try distancing yourself a bit. You don't have to be rude and say "I don't want to see you" but maybe give this other girl a shot. She doesn't have to be your girlfriend or anything, but maybe start talking and dating a little bit. That may make the first girl you like jealous a bit....
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