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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: One of best friends is Lily she is 20 and is a cool girl. She is really quite and jsut a really good girl , the kind of girl parents they had. She really lieks this jock type guy from our college and she just confided in me that a few nights ago she had a group sex thing with him and 6 of his buddies. I could tell she feels horrible about it. The worst part is this guy and all his friends are laughing about her. calling her an easy slut. She had only had sex with one other guy before this. How can I help her get past this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): What I want to know was there alchohol involved? Was she coherent when this took place, did she consent to it or did she get pinned down and all of them ganged up on her. If that is the case, she really needs to report this to the campus police as she has been gang raped. This kind of crap has been going on at college campuses for several decades and it is group violence....
I know she must feel it is her fault and feels horrible about it, but I want her to think back about how it actually happened. I don't think she should make something up to get out of feeling guilty, she knows the difference, but if she is such a good girl like you say she is this just doesn't sound right and is out of character for her. It is a college "tradition" and a horrible one to make punches that are almost 100% grain alchohol but don't taste like it to get naive freshman girls so drunk they can barely stand or see or fight off anyone. If this happened to her it is nothing but pure rape and she should be brave and report it so that this can be stopped and it won't happen to another girl.
That said what ever is the truth, just be there for her as a friend.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 Sorry ...Young Man...I wrote to fast. Sorry about that. But the fact remains, if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck....not much she or you can do about that.Part of adulthood if taking responsibility for our actions. And she will pay through the nose for the spit roast. But she made the choice....sorry but thats the way it is.You can be supportive of her and be a friend. Outside of that there isnt really anything you can do. she will always be remembered for it her entire career at the school she is at. So I hope she learned a lesson. I will disgaree with the Aunts who say that this will pass though. Her fate is sealed reputation wise, and as cruel as people can be, she should have really thought about this moronic act.You are a good man to want to help her though, I'll give you that.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (1 September 2009):
Young Lady,There is only so much you can do. It is what it is. I mean 6 guys at one time? Sorry, but if it quacks like a duck.....
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (1 September 2009):
 She really needs a friend right now. Just listen to her, make her happy, and be nice to her. With time this all will pass.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 September 2009):
I agree, all she can do is wait it out. Just be there to listen to her, I'm sure she'll want to talk about it quite a bit. She definitely disrespected herself--to be blunt, she got gang-banged...that's going to make a group of boneheads feel like they're champs because they had their way with one girl.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 Everyone makes mistakes and your friend made a biggie alright.
The good thing is she has a friend in you. As long as you can be there for her, this will eventually blow over. The jocks will move on to their next conquest and start bragging about her.
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