| A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Back in September I went to a church dance with a really nice girl. The dance was at another church and there was a whole bunch of us going back to our church in a van. Most of us fell asleep. Well the girl I went with was asleep in the seat behind me. I fall asleep to. I woke up and there was a girl kissing me and with tongue. I made her stop. She was invited by someone else. I didn't even know who she was. I was really embarrassed and I didn't know what to say. After only a few minutes from this incident we were at the church. I thought no one had seen but someone did see. So this happened Friday night and I thought about this all weekend. The girl I actually took and myself really liked one another. I wanted to tell her over the phone all weekend what had happend but I didn't know how to tell her. I didn't see her until Monday morning at school. I was so sure that she would hear about what happened from someone else and that she would break up with me and I was sure that she would not have believed me if I told her what really happened that I just told her that I didn't want to see her anymore. She looked really confused. She wasn't confused for very long because word had gotten around that I was making out with a girl on the church van. After about a week after that she confronted me about kissing that girl and I told her the truth and that I was sorry. She didn't believe me and then she called me a liar and walked away. I never saw the girl's face that kissed me in the van very good. I didn't know who she was because it was dark and because I was told she went to another school. As it turns out that is not true. She has been playing me for a fool. She "met" me a few months ago in the hall at the school. She knew who I was and she knew how to tell me everything I wanted to hear. She said she likes the same movies as me, the same music, the same t.v. shows. Shortly after that we started talking on the phone a lot and then we went out on a few dates. Now we are going steady. I didn't know she was the same girl from the van until she told me. I couldn't believe it but she told me it was her and she said she was sorry for breaking up me and my girl friend. I told her I wasn't mad but when I got home and thought about it I got more and more upset. I feel like I am falling in love with her. I am not very popular. My sister told me that she heard a rumor that I was a bet. I'm a virgin and I am not afraid to admit it. This girl that has been with me for so long now was only trying to win a bet. I asked her about it and she admitted it was true and that she started having feelings for me. I'm afraid to think that she is just using me and I don't want to be without her. She has tried to have sex with me a few times and I have always said no. How do I know if really has feelings for me or if she is just playing me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): No one likes to get taken for the fool. If you are not sure if she is really into you, or still on the bet, ask her out a lot on her own with other people, so she has no time to be with others and keep up the pressure for a bit. If she only wants to be with you in a group, more likely it is still the bet. And don't tell her how much you like her until you are more sure it is not the bet still. If that is all too much work, then just break it off and go find someone else. You will save your self respect and likely others will respect you for it as well.
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Truthfully, there is no way to know if she is telling the truth or not. She did admit that it was a bet to start with so at least she's being honest there. The best advice I can think of is to be honest with her. Ask her to just be straight with you. Tell her that you like her a lot and if this is still just a game to her just be honest with you and tell you. If the bet is that important to her tell her you're willing to say whatever needs to be said so that she wins the bet and then you two just part ways. This may entice her to be straight with you. If she still keeps it up then there is a definite chance that she is telling the truth. From that point you're just going to have to trust her.
Good luck.
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