A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:How much is too much? (Dancing and friends) I recently started dating this woman that has the qualities I'm looking for. Dependability, honesty, no game playing but there is one issue I think might be a growing problem in the future. She goes out with her friends 3 to 5 (mostly 5) time a week. I know her friends and they are good people but we never spend much qulity time together without her getting ready to go out or comeing back late from being out. She always invites me but I work early and I have responsebilities at home that a homeowner would have. She also owns a home that is sitting empty in need of repairs (she is living with a friend) and says she has no time or money to repair it. We are both approching 50 and I think a couple should spend time with each other and work on bettering our lives. Going out sometimes is fine but how much is too much? She says, if she stops dancing, she will get fat and if I ask for 3 days a week with her instead of 2, that I want her to stop dancing and that's changing her. When, in fact, I like her to have her dancing but it seems it's controling her life. Any ideas? I hate to give up a wonderful person but being alone most of the time will get old.Thanks....
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the great feedback. Actually, I do go to a couple a week at the local lodge but I work weekends so those are out most of the time. She has tried to teach me a few dances but my two left feet get in the way so I get discouraged. Most of her dancing is country line dancing so her and her friends are fine on their own.
I also have offered to help with her house but she has one excuse after another why she can't fix it. I tell her it's only wood plaster and nails. She's loosing about $900 a month with the house sitting vacant, deteriorating (for a year so far).
Thanks for the responses.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2007): i wouldnt worry to much eventualy she will scale it down,im a dancer myself and i only dance at weekends and tell her she wont get fat by not dancing 5 days,get yourself dancing at weekends that way you can dance together.
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A
female
reader, T_T  +, writes (28 March 2007):
Hi, my father (50) and his girlfriend of 2 years go out dancing together all the time. They go to dance lessons and to the bars where there is dancing before it gets crouded and smokey. Try spending one night a week going dancing with her, this might show her that you interested enough to make a compromise. And maybe try taking a dance lesson one evening a week (you can probably find one that ends early). Maybe you should also try offering to help her with her house, renovations can be a workout to. I'm not a dancer but my dads girlfriend really loves it and they have both made compromises and it seems to be working great. good luck.
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