A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear aunts, or cupid, or whoever thinks they can help,I really really really like this girls. I have for several years now. We are friends, but she acts really wierd towards me. Sometimes she is really flirty, and other time she completely ignores me. but when she ignores me,she makes sure i notice she is doing it. She makes sure i know she is there.Last year, on valentines day, i wrote her a poem. She said she keeps the poem among all the other things special to her. Anyway, the day after valentines, she said she didnt have time for a relationship. I continued liking her, but kept it to myself. I didn't tell anyone that i still liked her. Until about a week and a half ago.I told her i still liked her, and asked her if i could take her out to dinner. She kindly rejected me, saying she didn't want a relationship right now. Only, after rejecting me, she would not leave me alone. She either calls me or texts me. She asks me to hang out, or help her study. All after rejection. Why would she do this?I tried telling myself that i dont like her anymore, but for some reason, i cant stop liking her. I cant stop thinking of her, and i even dream of her. I dont want to cut her completely out of my life, but i dont want to be hung up on her forever either.so how do you get over somebody who wont leave you alone? not even for one day to deal with rejection. and am i pathetic for being hung up on this girl? Why is she acting the way she is? Should i ask her to the dance, even though she rejected me for a date? I am confused, anyone who could shed light on my situation, i would appreciate it.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 September 2007):
 I would like you to try something. This may or may not work for you, but it did for a friend of mine. It sounds as if she's confused. The flirting shows she may have feelings for you, the rejection shows she might be afraid of your friendship changing if something were to go wrong with the relationship. Here's the story.
My friend met this girl in college, she was extremely pretty so he decided to ask her out. She kindly said "no than you". He didn't give up at that point, about a week later he decided to try again, and again she said "no thank you". So he decided to try a different approach.
The third time he went up to her and said "I have thing problem I have been trying to work out, could you help me?" She asked, what most people would, "well what is it." He then said "There is a school function coming up, I have a friend I would like to ask to this. It would be purely platonic, no romance, just two friends joining each other to attend this function. I'm worried she might get the wrong idea, what would you do? She said "If it's platonic, just as friends and theirs nothing else going on, I'd ask her." He said "Will you go to this function with me?" She accepted and they have now been married for 30 years and have 7 wonderful children. Sometimes it's not the matter of asking, it's how you ask that counts. I hope this helps and everything works out for you. If not, she sounds like she makes better friends than not being friends at all.
A
female
reader, DONNA85 +, writes (12 September 2007):
Hey! i really dont have answers but maybe this will help somehow. This story reminds me of how i was with an old friend in high school. He would always ask me out and id always say no cs i liked to be single and have fun but still flirt with him sometimes. I liked that he always made me feel flattered and good about myself. Our friendship just kept getting stronger and stronger over the years and one day a couple yrs ago i decided why not and we went out and something just wasnt right! we are still very good friends tho and i dont think there is a thing in this world we wouldnt do for each other.
i think that u should either stay away from her for however long u need to after being rejected or tell her the truth about how if she is gonna turn u down to take it easy on u and let u get over it a lil before she starts texting and stuff. If u really like her i think u should ask her to the dance and u shouldnt give up. U never know..what do u have to lose?
im not very good at advice but maybe i helped some
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