A
male
age
41-50,
*limex
writes:I need some advice... Well my wife doesn't appreciate the the things I give to her, I have bought her many items and later on I come to find out she gives them away. Recently I found out she had given away to her sister a very expensive watch I had bought her it really bothers me because I buy these things for her and not for someone else, it makes me feel like she don't care about the things I give her and she just wants to get rid of them.. It took it's toll when I saw her sister wearing the watch we got Into this huge argument and currently not talking it's awkward and weird coming to a quiet home.. I feel dry strongly and still very mad about this... Am I wrong? Or over reacting about this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): It sounds more like her sister commandeered the watch and your wife is afraid to get it back. I would try not to get too upset over it, but do try to encourage her to get it back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): I don't think your wrong....i think the 'recieving' is more important than the giving...gift's are special whatever form they come in and should be recieved with respect...knowing one was in anothers thought in a pleasing way when a gift was chosen. Even if you don't like the gift it's about letting the giver enjoy doing something special by giving. I don't believe the story either....and i think it is quite shallow and selfish to not CONSIDER your feelings.....yes it can go two ways, she GAVE to her sister....but the difference is somebody got hurt in her giving...and regards your sis in law 'recieving' she should know better.... so even more selfish to even consider accepting or asking for the gift you bought your wife and taking it home.
Time will tell.
spunky monkey.
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A
male
reader, Blimex +, writes (8 February 2011):
Blimex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell this gift was given to her by me out of random, she didn't own a watch so I proceeded and bought her a nice watch. She wore it here and there then all of a sudden I stopped seeing until recently I saw it on her sister, I got extremely furious but waited till we were home to say anything about it. She told member sister saw it on her and loved so she preceeded to try it on. She forgot about the watch and her sister left with it! She then asked for it at a last time but the sister said she wanted to keep it and nothing was done about it (this Is what my wife told me) I told her that if her sister took the watch it was up to her to get it back! Period! No excuses! How can she just let her sister take it and do nothing about it. I told her this really hurt my feelings and bothered me but she just tought I was over reacting..
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (8 February 2011):
No you are not over - reacting : what she did was hurtful, and actually intended to be so as she must have known you would find out.
What is her explanation ? Maybe deep down she wants to split ?
You need a big talk and maybe couples counselling to try and save the marriage.
It's not trivial.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): You're right to be upset. This probably doesn't have to go nuclear, but it's definitely a problem. Tell her that when she gives away your gifts, it tells you that she doesn't appreciate what you do for her, that she would care so little about what you've done for her. It doesn't matter if she likes the gift or not (I avoid jewelry cause I never get it right), it's the fact that she didn't think "My husband gave me this, and to give it away isn't right." Good luck.
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A
female
reader, TexasTexas +, writes (8 February 2011):
Hi,Bless your heart.I have given jewelry away and I want to tell you why.I don't wear much jewelry, but my ex bought nice jewelry for me often. I felt so guilty about it that I gave it to people I love.So my advice is to have a heart-to-heart with your wife. She already knows your feelings are hurt, but you didn't mention why she gave it away. How was the watch given? Was it a nice valentine or birthday gift? Or was it a casual gift? Did she want it or ask for it? How often does this issue occur?Does your girlfriend ever ask you for specific things? I am asking as a wife who has asked for a floor-length robe for 3 years. And he has gifted me with 3 short robes from Victorias Secret. Aaaggghhh....I want a soft lovely robe!The bottom line is that you have to respect each other. You have to care about her point of view, even if you don't agree with it. And vice versa. Love each other. Good luck.
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