A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm new to this whole thing but I am in a bad spot. I looked at porn a few times on the internet and lied to my giirlfriend about it. We have been together for almost a year and she wants to break up over it. She is really hurt and I feel like the biggest pig on the planet. What do I do to let her now that I adore her?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Sorry female reader.Just because you love someone, doesn't make you immune to lust.I can go out with whoever I want and still think that girl in the bikini is hot.Men (well, straight me) like looking at naked women. Its not meant to be an offense... its just a guy thing. A woman cannot understand unless she's gay and like women just like we all do.If he was boning other women, then she'd have a reason to be pissed. But if he was just whacking off to a naked picture of Angelina Jolie in GIA then quit bitching.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2007): if she were enough for you...you wouldnt have dreamt or had any desire t look at other naked women.....she knows this....sorry but I did the same as her and frankly there is nothing that can make me want to go back...because at the end of the day I know he gets all worked up over other womens naked bodies...this means that my sharing my body with him means nthing, after all he can get horny over millions of other naked women.....hope she can be more relaxed than me about this...you sound like you really do love her
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A
female
reader, S - soadlover :-)  +, writes (10 October 2007):
 porn can be a difficult subject
like the previous posts i agree that lying about it made it much much worse but the clocks cannot be turned back
what you need to do is reassure ur girl, she probably feels unattractive because you were looking at others so you need to rectify this
tell her you love her - you obviously do because you were so concerned of losing her that you have posted the question
tell her shes beautiful and that you were just curious so you looked at the porn
talk to her and ask what her veiw o n porn is, some women dont mind it if their men are open about it an sometimes like to be involved
but whatever you do do not lie about it - this will make things much worse and you will risk losing her
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): If you can get it across to her that you love her more than anything and it was just something that you looked at casually and you are only interested in her, then i am sure she will be ok. This affects certain people in a different way. I am glad that my bloke doesnt look at it because my first husband was into it big time and it torn me up inside. Buy her some flowers and some of her favourite perfume and be prepared to wait until she is ready. If you have blown it then you will have to put it down as an expensive mistake.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): In most cases there is no upset caused by someone in a relationship viewing porn however it does create a feeling of 'if I was everything he needed, he wouldnt be looking' then there is the acts that you are looking at for example if you are viewing threesomes this can create - 'does he wish he could do that?' 'does he expect me to do that' etc
What I am trying to say is its not that you looked at it, its the questions that it creates in your girlfriends head and the fact that you lied that made it 100% worse.
I have to say I think that she is over reacting by threatening to break up with you. I think if you are prepared to then you will have to tell her you wont search for porn again (as long as you mean it) and that all you can say is that you are sorry and truely didnt think it would cause a problem. Then treat her. - That always works!
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