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female
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*exyapples99
writes: Hi!My partner always flirts with female friends. One married polish woman even ended up sleeping with my partner a day after we had broken up with her husband included. She and my partner had been warned how i felt about the flirting. She put a short skirt on in front of him, myself and her husband the night my partner and i had an argument and he left because of it. She was always making eyes at him and visa versa. My partner and i seperated for 4 months because of her but are back together now. All i wanted was to know i was number one and that special person. I think she was out to try and steal him away as she was jealous of what i had as a family. She had an affair last year without her husband knowing and also was seeing an Indian guy after that. I have been left thinking my partner and her are having an affair.Please help as this has ripped my family and heart apart. Yet i am the one my partner calls a slag, slut and tramp. I knew what she was like from her telling me about her sordid affair.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): You've been given good advice from the other Aunts on this page. Just tossing in my 2 cents here. Firstly, I consider your bf who flirts with the opposite sex, a very poor candidate for any type of committed relationship. Simply because, he's not mature nor caring, nor loving enough to show good judgement and he lacks a lot of control. Moreover, his roving eye is causing you great pain. No woman (nor man) should settle for this disrespect. With that said, the woman you speak of, is simply flaunting her sexual power. Rather than developing herself in a morally, respectable way, she plays this game. There are a lot insecure woman who do this..they cause pain to feel good about themselves. Rather sad, isn't it.
Now..about your bf and his poor treatment of you. You need to decide if this the way you want to continue to live. Your future with him looks very grim and unpleasant. The behaviour you are exhibiting is so typically feamle. Women live with this notion that they have to be attached to a man to exist. So my suggestion is: drop this loser, deadbeat man and create something in your life that 'you' can be proud of about yourself. You need to do this, because I feel you are way too dependent. How do I know this? Because if you weren't dependant, this man's butt would've been on the curb, a long time ago. You need to build strength, courage and self-esteem within yourself..that's the way to happiness. Just remember, stop feeling that neediness and compulsion to making it work with this guy, no matter what. Your selling yourself out to the lowest bidder. Why don't you do keep your dignity intact and do the job of cutting him loose and moving on to a more happier existence for yourself. His actions are all there..the verbal abuse..the possible cheating...the unecessary flirting. Don't lose yourself over this. Get rid of the man and you rid yourself of this problem and all the heartache that goes with it. Be brave...Take care, dear.
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reader, Rainee  +, writes (8 November 2006):
 You're being hurt by him, you're being hurt by her, but worst of all, you're being hurt by yourself!
You're not a masochist, are you? By your words, you aren't pleased with the situation, but yet you continue to put up with it. No one can make you stay with a cheater and abuser.
Stop the madness and cut these horrendous people from your life before you lose any more self-respect!
GL
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): I cant understand why you let him back in your life, please help me understand why you did, because the way i see it he is verbally abusive towards you, he is a cheat and a liar, why oh why do you still want him around. Even if this lady is the local bike your man should have remained loyal to you and not gone anywhere near her anyway. If you feel like he is having an affair you are probably right as womens intuition is usually spot on. Please do your self a favour and give him the boot as he doesnt appear to have any remorse for what he has done to you and you deserve better. You need to take some time out for you to get your head clear dont let this man put all the blame on you and making you feel depressed and like someone who is second best cause your not and he clearly is good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): Sounds to me like your partner is a classic cheater, it is his nature to cheat and he won't be changing his spots anytime soon....is this really the other woman's falt, I don't think so, if it wasn't her it would be someone else.
So what do you want to do about it? It sounds like to me that he does not make you happy with this behavior, you need to put your foot down, and possibly put it in his er behind and push him out the door and onto the street.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006):
Wow a lot of name calling in there- on your side too. Did you really need to add the part about an 'Indian' guy?
Your choices are to toe the line pretty close because the guy obviously has other offers.
Or, tell him he can keep his firty personality but not with her, because the situation with the Pole (gasp) is bothering you. If after that, he doesnt turn off the charm with her, you've got your answer and can move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): Er excuse me but why are you back with this pig of a man?? I am missing out on something here. I wasn't only down to her. Your fella did the deed as well then has the audacity to call YOU names. Sorry but i really feel annoyed that you have this jerk in your life. Your heart may be ripped apart but how will you feel about him in the future. Will he still be calling you names. Will you be able to get her image out of your head. I don't think so. Get him out of your life, move on and make a fresh start. It will be hard, even seem impossible at the time but it will be well worth it to keep your sanity.
Take care.
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