A
male
age
41-50,
*monty78
writes:I am almost 31, a single father (never married) and a business professional in my community. I have a 4 yr old little girl that is so well behaved. I am very blessed, and grateful. For 2 months I have been dating a 27 year old woman that I think the world of. I seem to always end up with the girls that are divorced a time or two, or have a car full of kids, no job, etc. Unlike them, this girl has never been married, has been a manager for her company for 8 yrs, has a 4 yr degree, morals, etc.I like nearly everything about this girl, and she has a lot of qualities everyone else seems to be lacking, but here is the problem, which she openly admits to...She has a hard time discussing and showing her emotions. I feel like I have to ''dig'' to get her to open up to me and tell me how she feels. But when I finally get her to openly communicate with me, she has nothing but good things to say about me, as well as my daughter. The fact that I have to pry to get her to open up to me seems to be a part time job aside from my career. There's no doubt in my mind that she likes me a lot by the way she speaks of me to other people, but its getting frustrating always being the one that has to initiate any ''body contact'' or conversation regarding ''us.'' Also, it has been 2 months and we haven't got past the stage of giving one another a ''peck'' when we leave one another, yet I stay the night with her appx 3 times a week. Please understand, I don't think I have to be having sex with this girl right away, but I also feel like a junior high student anxiously waiting for the time we first ''make out.'' And when I do try to kind of initiate it, it just doesn't seem to happen.I even bought 2 bottles of her favorite wine last week in hopes it would loosen her up and maybe she would communicate with me more, or get more physical with me, and she only had a couple of sips out of her glass.....I ended up killing 2 bottles by myself LOL. I am getting so frustrated at this point. Any suggestions or thoughts would be MORE THAN welcome at this point! Thanks!On a side note...she also told me she missed me today, which was enlightening. Sometimes I wonder if she is just inexperienced and needs me to be more agressive with her!?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): 2 months is not that long. I going to stick my neck out here and say that she has been hurt at some point. There are reasons that we build walls, and its usually not to keep everyone out. Its to see who cares enough to tear them down. That being said, it is frustrating being the open, emotional, verbal partner in a relationship. My husband of 27 yrs is this way. It is challenging sometimes but he has so many other good qualities that it is well worth the challenges. He pursued me from the beginning of the relationship but I was the aggressor in the physical sense., and it took him 6 months to kiss me the first time. He is very openly affectionent now, but still struggles with verbalizing his emotions. He is a loving,faithful, considerate husband and a wonderful dad. I consider him worth the challenge. You will have to decide whether this woman is worth investing your time and energy on. There are no guarantees. But then there are no guarantees in life at all are there? Take a good look and see if you need and want what she brings to the party.good luck! Hope this helps in some way.
A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (13 October 2009):
 Well for starters you seem like a great guy...theres not many dads willing to stick around and your a single father...thats awesome! It sounds like she likes you alot! From the sounds of it, you are deffinately beyond the friends zone, i think maybe she is just shy, it takes some girls a long time to warm up...just give her some time! As for always having to initiate body contact, that could just be how she was raised, i for instance i was raised to always let the guy make the first move, which i now have learned to overcome that somewhat and now im happily married, but i think that might be why shes not the one to initiate body contact! By the sounds of it, its nothing to stress over, its just something simple like being shy! Dont try to pry her into opening up because that probably makes her feel more uncomfortable! You might want to talk to her and tell her how you feel and see what she has to say! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): Do you know how many relationships she's previously been in and how long they lasted? I will guess either she's been in a few long term relationships where the love simply died out. She seems to lack passion. Her relationship past may give you hints on why she acts the way she does, or maybe she's just not that into you.
If you really like her, don't give up. Just give her time to let herself loose and get accustomed to you. Take her on super romantic dates and see how she reacts. She might not be used to courtesy.
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