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She filed for divorce claiming I verbally abuse her, how do I save this marriage?

Tagged as: Age differences, Breaking up, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 September 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2012)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

So, here goes nothing. I have never posted anything like this before but an looking for unbiased opinions. I am married to someone that I truly care deeply for and we have been in a relationship for over two years. She recently filed for divorce and I am doing everything I can to save the marriage but question if saving it is truly the correct decision. Our first two years have been very difficult to say the least. I am seven years younger than her and she is ready to have children. I am not in a place with my career to do the same and feel that she is very resentful towards me because of that. We live next to my in-laws which is stressful to say the least. I have only had two partners and asked her unknowingly about her past and her response was over fifty. I was shocked... it has def bothered me. Especially when she told me that over 40 were black men. Im a very confident guy but that is hard to deal with. Im not racist at all but just the number must equate to some attraction that I cant understand. I called her a wh o r e bc of her past. I regret saying it but cant take it back. She now wants a divorce and says im verbally abusive. Any Advise?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (17 September 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntshe wants kids

you don't

you are bothered by her past

you say you are together for over two years

and married... how long are you married... how soon after you met did you two marry?

you called her a whore and you can't deal with her past.

why do you want her back? why do you want to save this marriage?

she wants children and to be loved and respected... you don't want children yet (and with her seven years older that makes her 29-32 so her biological clock is ticking for her)

I think that since you can't forget her past (it's not your place to forgive it) you should let her go and be happy.

IF you truly LOVE HER you want HER to be happy even if that means YOU are not....

let her go.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012):

You need to let go and move on, if she wanted to make the relationship work she would not have opted for a divorce. Its time to part ways.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (17 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntUm let her get her divorce?

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