A
male
 ,
*oe
writes:hello people once again i'm after advice or in some sense reasurrance, my relationship has it breaking point my girlfriend says she is not happy with life but although she loves me and says i've done nothing wrong she says she don't know if she can keep the relationship going now the first thing i said to her is that if she needed it i will leave her alone for a few months or something.when she said she isn't happy about life she said she weren't happy with her family, friends and me she says she feels alone and she don't seem to know herself now of course typical me i have taken this pretty hard and finding it hard to get round it all right now but we both agreed to talk about it some more then take a little break.now i like to think there is still hope for me and her as this thing has happen before in a sense but i honestly don't want this to end as i'm scared it will but if it does then there is nothing i can do about it or is there some way i could help her through these depressing times
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female
reader, Softie +, writes (19 April 2006):
 Hi,
First of all, I would like to say that I am very glad that you are not giving up and are willing to talk to her and try to work things through.
She seems to be depressed about her life as a whole. She wishes to take some time to find herself again. A self-discovery trip is a healthy thing to do when she feels that she has lost herself in all the problems surrounding her. Take a minute to consider that maybe she really doesn't want her unhappiness to affect you. If this is her intention, it would be coming from love.
Now, here is my suggestion:
She wishes to detach from everyone for awhile so DO NOT chase her. This means no calls every single day, no letters and emails everyday, and DO NOT go over unless she asks you to.
But simple yet small gestures well spaced should be O.K.
A week after the seperation, leave one long stem flower (Happy looking one that isn't a Red rose, yet soft and warm color.) with a small note attached to it that tells her you still love her. Keep it to one to two lines and remember to sign your name. It would be best if it's just a few words. This is just a reminder to her that you DO still love her. After that, you can leave a small note and again one long stem flower in front of her door every two weeks. It's a simple way to just let her know that you do think about her. It would also bring her a little happiness while she is in a dark place feeling alone and depressed. I would say give her a month before giving her a call to check up on her.
While I cannot predict what will happen, I do think your effort will make some difference. I wish you best of luck and lots of happiness no matter what happens.
Softie
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