A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend were together for a year and a half.About 7 weeks ago she ended the relaionship because over about 5 months we started to argue and make each other unhappy.She wasnt been herself anymore and felt like she was a bad person for doing things with her mates etc. (because i was paranoid, controlling, needy and clingy etc).She said that i will alwaways have a special place in her heart and that she really wants us to be friends, she cant say how she 100% feels but isnt able to say she wants us to be together.She said she knows that she should move on. She also said she cares for me so much. I think is busy in her life at the moment, when we broke up she had exams, parties, a holiday etc etc to look forward to. Now its her birthday soon and then she is going to university in september.I think she is looking forward to going to ni etc and maybe she sees me as a restriction on her life at the mooment because of the way i was about her doing stuff like this. (i argued about her going on holiday and uni etc) but i have realised now how much i dont need to be like that. I know things would be completely different and more relaxed.We were each others first loves and i think the best thing for me to do now is to give it time and not speak to her for a while (i havent spoke to her for 3 weeks). I hope that this will make her realise she misses me (probably hasnt had the chance to properly yet because she is always keeping busy) and realise that i have changed back to the person i used to be. I am going to spend this time to work on myself (i need to detach myself from her emotionally, because when we first got together i wasnt needy etc etc) so that when we do meet up or talk she can see the genuine change.Any views?
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broke up, move on, on holiday, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 July 2008):
I still think you should give her space for a while. She's probably got a lot of bad feeling towards you and rightly so. If she loves you and sees you putting the effort in then she'll get back with you in her own time. If you've damaged the relationship beyond repair then it's sad but you'll just have to learn from your mistakes for next time.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah thanks alot.
Well its not really far away where she is going, its only about 13 miles from where i live and i travel that to work everyday so its not a long distance thing.
She is going to be living there though, but she said she wants to come home every weekend.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (15 July 2008):
Well if she is going off to uni and you are going to be in a long distance relationship you are going to have your work cut out for you.
I really don't think you are going to have time to build the trust and love needed to have a successful long distance relationship. How on earth would you be able to prove to her that you wouldn't go back into psycho-boyfriend mode. I mean you put pressure on her to ruin her whole career and not go to uni!!
My advice is just to stay her friend and let her go for now. If you two are meant to be together and if it is true love then you will be able to stay friends until the right time. Prove you can be there for her and trust her without her having to commit to you.
There is always the christmas and easter and summer holidays when you can take things further.
Good Luck!! xx
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