A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 2 years has ended with me because she says she's still in love with her ex. Her ex was from an internet relationship and they never met.She says she needs time to sort out in her head what she wants because she doesn't want to hurt me by not giving my 100% and i've told her i'll give her the time, but i'm terrified she'll never come back to me, or worse that she'll go back to her ex.I want her to be happy, but i don't think she will be, not with this person. It just makes me feel so worthless that I can't compare to someone she never even met who is half way around the world. Sometimes she's convinced she'd rather be with me, and that she loves me more, but others she says its not true, though she meant it at the time. She's so confused and I just don't know what to do.I'm planning a month in New Zealand soon, and I'm hoping maybe this will help her make her decision, if she knows how it is to really not have me in her life for a while.What do you think?
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (16 October 2007):
 I think you have the right idea. Until shes met this guy he will be part a real person and part an idea and indeed a dream in her head and thats where you will have a problem comparing. I wouldn't question her feelings unlike the other poster but its also possibly a case of the grass always being greener.
She is obviously very confused and its to be hoped for your sake that with you not being around she will realise how much you being there does mean. At the moment you are always there and she has the emotional space to be confused if that makes sense. When you are gone she will be faced with you suddenly not being there and I think that will make her realise.
If at the end of it all she still chooses him then you may have to face the reality that it was not meant to be but I am reasonably confident from what you say here that will not turn out to be the case. Good luck.
A
female
reader, ladysuzanna  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 answer how can you be in love with a man you have never saw
it seems she buytime for herself does not work she has the man she can be sure of think about it go on your trip alone you live once you start seeing what maybe your passing up you are to good a guy for her good luck
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