A
male
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*c_reload87
writes: Hi, 2 weeks ago my Girlfriend of 3 years split up with me. We had such a good relationship and she is the sort of person who is very loyal and does not lie. Well everyday she would tell me she loved me and would hug and kiss me and all was going well. We came back off of a nice holiday in Cyprus with her and her family. Whilst there we visited Egypt where we both brought jewellery that sybolised being together forever even after death. Well the day we got back she began going out alot with her friends from college. I have never liked them because i know what kind of people they are, but obviously i couldnt stop my girlfriend going out so i let it be. Well she began to go out with them more and more often and then out of the blue she turned around and ended our relationship and the only reason given was that I annoyed her. Well she is starting university this month so i thought maybe that was playing on her mind. She still wants to be friends and have gone out for a coffee since. Now i find out that she is going out with another man and my head is so confused. I know deep down that she must still feel for me because she still wants to see me and especially with another relationship, you would've thought she would cut all ties with me. We are both 18 years old and this new man is 26, I dont hold a grudge against her and still love her more than anything. Im just so confused about what i can do. Any advice or words of encouragement. Do you think it is worth fighting for because she has never told me she doesnt love me, even the day we broke up she said she loves me too. Please please please help. Thanks.Matt
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male
reader, Scott W +, writes (15 September 2006):
Matt,
I'm going through a similar thing with my gf of 4 years as well. Through the hard way, I've learned that you really just need to give your girlfriend the space she wants. Sometimes when people have gone out for such a long time, you completely forget about yourself and how it feels to be independent or to be with someone else. I think your best bet (and mine too) is to take a break from her and let her experience what she wants to do. It may not be a bad thing. And as cliche as it sounds, if you guys really love each other you will come back together eventually. The break will be a good test of the relationship and you should take the opportunity to explore your own independence. Believe me, it will only make it worse to be needy to your girlfriend and you probably have a better chance if you did your own thing rather than pine for her (you still can and probably will for some time but she doesnt need to know that). Time heals all. Just try to keep busy, keep your head up, and try and move in a positive direction in your life rather than focus on the negative. Its hard but believe me, we'll both get through it.
A
female
reader, claire_x100 +, writes (15 September 2006):
Matt i would be careful your feelings may hide the truth of what you see. I do syill think that your ex does love you, but when she sees you have you ever asked her if she still loves you why isnt she with you. Its not fair on you that she keeps coming back and hasnt really told you whats going on. Break ups can be hard but you dont want to let yourself get caught up tell her how you feel and find out how she feels. If she says she still loves you then ask why shes not with you. If it turns out bad atleast you know where you stand which is important beacuse you dont want her stringing you along. Good luck
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