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male
age
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*aptop1955
writes: My partner dumped me just before xmas. I desparately want her back. At first I phoned and sent flowers but got no response, so now I'm doing the no contact thing. I've only lasted 10 days so far and it's hard. Has anyone got any views on this and can it work? Incidentally we have been together 7 years and she said her feelings had changed. Is this my best chance of winning her back?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): (Sorry to hear that Ponungalungb!)
You have done the decent thing by sending her gift now wait and while and if she doesn't get in touch then you go out and have a life, enjoy yourself. You were together a while and that is hard to take when someone does that. you wonder if they ever loved you and what you could of done to make things better. Just don't beat yourself up, i know that isn't easy but do try. You deserve to be treat better.
Take care and make 2007 a good one!
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): Sorry to hear that Ponu! :(
laptop - you done well to send flowers and a phone call, it was your peace offering and a sign you wanted to try again.
If this women was interested in any way she would have done something to recipricate, even just a text saying "thanks for the flowers" would have been a little sign to show you at least had a chance to repair whatever caused you to split.
Her doing nothing however is a clear and certain sign that things are over for her and she does not want you to win her back.
You done the decent thing by giving things one last chance, but now if you were to pursue her again, you will fall in to the "needy and can't get over the relationship" category and you do not want her seeing you that way.
In months / years to come, she'll look back and see that you made the final token of "sorry" and she will think good of you, I'm sure.
Women can be a bit weirdos and justify a breakup by a man ultimately not caring about her, but your last actions made it clear that it was her walking away, not you. If you can leave things like this, when you are over the hurt, pain and lonely feelings you will actually end up feeling a stronger and better person for being the person to make the last effort but without turning desperate and needy.
All the best. I know you've had a long time together, but remember, this is a brand new year with brand new posibilities. Concentrate on all the things that were wrong in the relationship, and don't entertain the thoughts in your head that are saying "no no no, she was perfect! We had just a great relationship I'm never going to meet someone quite as special". That is not true. These are your thoughts scared of being alone. But we don't stay feeling alone; it's temporary. You can have an amazing 2007 as soon as you make the conscious decision that it is over and you no longer wish to be with her.
All the best Laptop!
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 It's early. It should be "Write this one off".
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (3 January 2007):
It's early. It should be "Write this one off".
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (3 January 2007):
At least she dumped you before Christmas. Mine waited 'till she cashed in on Christmas before she dumped me.
To stay out of her life is probably your best chance for finding out if it's really over or not. If nothing changes for a month, you can probably right this one off as a fait accompli.
Your best bet, and mine too, is to go out and meet new people. I just enrolled in Graduate School. It's time for new adventures!
Good luck!
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