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She doesn't want to give -- or receive -- oral sex! Says she doesn't like it...

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Question - (14 April 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 April 2006)
A male , *aptainPicard writes:

My girlfriend doesn't want to give me oral sex

Hi, I was wondering if you could give me a tip of how to handle this situation. I have been dating my girl for a few months and she is fantastic. Our sex life is great except for the fact that she doesn't want to give or receive oral sex. To make things worse, she told me one day, that she have done it with other guy before but she didn't like it.

I have tried to explain her that is something that I really love but she doesn't want to give in and she hasn't given me any explanation for it.

I don't think is asking too much, I am not asking her to be a porn star, but oral sex is something I have done with all the relationships I had.

Any suggestions?

View related questions: oral sex, porn, sex life

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A female reader, lea22dc +, writes (16 April 2006):

Now this is my area of expertise!!! Ok now, every woman would love oral sex, IF IT WAS DONE RIGHT!!! The last guy she had oral sex with probably was terrible at it. That could scar a girl for life if it's their first. This is my suggestion to you, now do this only if you're good at giving oral. You have show how great it is, and can be. Kinda trick her into letting you do her, then later worrying about you. But it has to be a package deal. Use your resources to the best of your abilities. You may not have alot of money, but plan a special night. Walk by the water, dinner by candle light, run her a bath, bathe her, get some massage oil, or baby oil will do. But make the night completely about making her feel good, all of her 5 senses. just try to make her as relax as possible. Let her know that it's her night she doesn't have to give oral in return, but just enjoy you pleasing her. Tell her if she really doesnt like it then you'll be more than happy to stop. say it in your bedroom voice. You have to get her turned on as much as possible. If he gives you the ok, don't rush it. SLOWLY kiss her all over her body. lick her hot spots(the spots, when you touch she jumps)then finally when you get to the prize kiss it softly, lick it with a soft, flat tongue. suck lightly. don't get too excited. alot of guys tend to get too excited and tend to overdo it, they start licking too hard or putting too much attention on the clit directly. she's just starting out, so pulling the hood back and directly stimulating the clit might be too much for her. Last but not least, when she gets into and starts rocking at a steady pace and you think she's about to cum, keep doing whatever you doing, cause you have suceeded. SO good luck!!!

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2006):

smeedle agony auntGet over it, just because you have had it from all your other relationships does not mean you need it from this, she has told you she has done it in the past and hated it so this is surely enough to tell you that she knows what she likes and dislikes.

Sounds like you like her in all ways but this one thing, so are you going to risk loosing her just because she wont give you oral sex and if the answer to my question is yes then best to ditch her now so she can get on with finding a guy who will respect her decision to not have oral sex.

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A male reader, Highland Help +, writes (15 April 2006):

Highland Help agony auntWell it is not the end of the world if there is no oral sex surely, not every relationship involves oral sex. However i am quite sure the more you make it an issue the longer it will take to resolve. Do not even talk about it and just spend some weeks concentrating on good foreplay of other kinds and slowly she may let you perform oral sex on her in the heat of the moment possibly. You will then have to wait and see if she wants to do it to you in her own time. Stop worrying and making it and issue and just try and love her for who she is the rest will follow hopefully.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (14 April 2006):

eddie agony auntWould you be happy knowing that every time she was giving or getting it she was bothered? I know I wouldn't be happy knowing the person I'm with was just doing something for my benefit. I like to know my partner is in it for themself too.

If you're really young, maybe the other person she was with did it wrong, was too rough etc. Find out exactly what she doesn't like about it. In the end, fi she doesn't like it, you're out of luck.

It would bother me too. It really limits what you can do in bed. You might have to decide to leave her if it's that important to you.

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