A
male
age
36-40,
*errick
writes:I'm 21 years old and in January, I am leaving for college in another state and just my luck, I meet this cool girl about 3 months ago. We didn't start dating until about a month ago. I have talked to a fair amount of girls growing up, and more recently - just to weed out the losers - ive considered more and more whether or not i could see a future with the girls i've dated, and i actually do see a future with this girl. she's everything i've been looking for. she's 2 years older, and while she does have a child, he's a good kid and i like him a lot.What we like most about each other is that we both have big goals we're very close to reaching (we love the fields we're going into and we're almost done with school), but the problem is I don't know where mine will take me location-wise.I know that I have some faults relationship-wise (i've never been in a long-term relationship, I tend to rush into things, my relationships end badly, and I've tried the long-distance relationship thing and it did NOT work out - we're best of friends though), leaving a part of me wanting to try and make it work, and another feeling like i should let it go before we get too attached or make any decision that might affect her kid.We had a discussion about where we'd end up and she said that she doesn't want to get in the way of my dreams, and that she's patient and if this goes somewhere she's willing to wait, or even come with me (she has no intentions on staying in our hometown as well), but there's so much uncertainty in my later plans, and i feel like i'd be leading her on or keeping her from meeting someone that may be better for her.I don't know what to do. help! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, derrick +, writes (3 November 2008):
derrick is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the responses! and the compliment theocm!!! took a lot of the fear away!!! :)
i'm willing to do whatever i have to do to make this work, but i am scared, because i just don't want to mess this one up! i'm pretty stressed about it because dont want anybody to get hurt, most imporantly to me, her child. i really care about the kid n i'd feel terrible if i thought that i had done anything that might affect him. (not that i dont care about her! i just know she'd understand everything more).
A
female
reader, theocm  +, writes (2 November 2008):
 i think that if the two of you really feel that strongly for eachother and she is willing to wait, theres a strong bond there. whats the harm in just trying to see where this goes? are you willing to take her with you, and look at why you might think the uncertainty in your later plans may end up without her? or why you feel she maybe missing out on someone better for her? are you scared? it seems that you two should not be stressed about this and take a deep breath, if she is willing to move and can succeed close by you- it maybe worth it. or if you two are not ready, when you go off, keep in touch, and see where life takes you two. wish it were easier than that. you two sound great togther- two persons willing to allow their partner to move forward without guilt, and genuinely want to see the other happy- regardless of the relationship status, sounds like something special to me.
...............................
|
