A
male
age
30-35,
*ilveknifex
writes:Ok so bascially we started to go out about 2 months ago the first couple weeks were great but then she started to act weird, and this was because she felt we rushed into are realtionship, she said shes not over her ex ( of 3 years) they broke up in summer and she needs to figure out where her heart lies with him before we continue any further in are realtionship, shes told me she does want to be with me and shes been trying her hardest but that feeling is just in the way right now, she said im like the perfect guy, and she does like me but she cannot love me till she figures out if she doesnt love this guy or not, basically this guy negleted her in the last year of their realtionship which is ultimately why the broke up, but it doesnt seem there was muc closure on their break up, she has asked me not to talk about it anymore, because she doesnt wanne feel presuured and thats the last thing i want to do is pressure here, i love this girl so much and i have been going trhough so much to be with her, and she knows this she knows how much i care for her and she can see it, so we took a break today, its not too much different just w/o all the mushy stuff, with this she says she has time to think to herself and right now thats what she needs to do is think, she said im the last person she wants to hurt, and she does really care about me, and i care about her even more, i really do!
View related questions:
a break, broke up, her ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abrasive_Reality +, writes (14 January 2009):
She is confused, and It's unfortunate to say this, but when a woman leaves the security of a long relationship a million crushed come about; it's almost like every man that approaches her and gives her the attention she craves, she is practically head over heels for.But when things start to get more serious with a new man things get complicated. I'd look at it like this; maybe she shouldn't have committed to you and a relationship to begin with right away, but she did and it's not like you can go back and change that, but in a way she has been respectful towards you to include you with how she is feeling about certain things.She is probably confused about the feelings she feels for you because maybe she didn't think that she could feel that way so soon for someone else, so quite possibly she is second guessing herself, which is common for a woman to do when fresh out of the arms of security.Maybe she also doesn't seem to understand how someone could care for her so much, and maybe she hurt her last boyfriend and she doesn't want to do that to you.You believe that she cares for you, and more than likely she does, but if you love her and care for her the way you say you do, you will appreciate her concern for the situation and let her figure things out before she hurts you, if that is what she is worried about.I was and still kind of am in a similar situation, however, I didn't really share the details with my current significant other. I was in a two year long relationship and it came to a screeching halt, and I broke things off. I had a crush on EVERY male that showed me attention immediately following the break up. I got involved with one particular guy and when i saw how much he began to care for me, it frightened me because I knew deep inside that my failure of my past relationship had something to do with me and I didn't want to hurt anyone else again.He was ready for me to commit to him, and I had to tell him I wasn't ready, he listened, understood, and gave me my time, he cared for me deeply, and about two weeks later, I found it in me to commit to him.... and things are great.I hadn't fully let go of my last relationship and was terrified of getting involved again, but within that two weeks, of which we were still hanging out, I was able to find me and find it okay to be happy with another.So, if you really care for her, you'd be willing to wait....HOWEVER, I am not telling you to let her take advantage of the situation and walk all over you, but just let her figure things out, and she'll come back..... and if for some reason she doesn't..... she wasn't worth it.
|
