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She doesn't show the love

Tagged as: Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 December 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'll try and keep this short.

I meta a girl 9 months ago, we began seeing each other 2-3 times a week and fell in love. we became a couple and things went great until around a month ago which was the last time we saw each other.

She's now giving mixed signals. One day she'll be all lovey and stuff through texts the next she won't text me for hours. She's recently last week caught this bug that's going round but before that she was fine.

She insists she still loves me but she's hardly showing it now. I still love her very much and I can't just break it off in the click of a finger.

I've cried over this issue twice now and the thought of leaving her makes my guts wrench and tears well up in my eyes.

I just don't know what to do now. I've thought about waiting til new year and if she doesn't make more effort to give an ultimatum of make more effort of it's ending.

I know I can't control whether she loves me or not but I just don't know what to do.

Am I over-reacting? If not, what is there I can do?

Thanks.

View related questions: fell in love, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

I have said that I'm worried she may be falling out of love with me but she insists I'm being silly.

She is stressed, yes but I don't think it takes much effort to say "I love you" in a text.

It's been going on for 5-6 weeks now which is why I'm worried. And I don't think I'm too clingy etc.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

why don't you try asking her why she doesn't seem to show what she insists (that she still loves you)? Tell her as nicely as you can, that you are doing your best to make things work for the both of you and that it worries you that you don't seem to see that much effort on her part.

By the way, being not that sweet is not necessarily an indication that she doesn't love you anymore. Love isn't measured by a person's sweetness. Maybe something's up like she's just stressed or something. Try to consider those possibilities also.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

i suspect she may have either had some bad problems or has met someone else

talk to her

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

Also she seems to be avoiding replying to things like "Next time I see you" as if to say she doesn't want it to happen.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

I've brought the subject a few times in the past and each time she says she's got a lot of stuff going on (which I know is true) but I've thought and said to her it takes very little effort to send a simple text message and she said she'll try and change but all that's changed is our relationship is in jeopardy if that's the right word.

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A female reader, Angel_Cookie United States +, writes (10 December 2008):

Maybe try talking to her about the mixed signals. You seem like a sweet guy, and if shes not willing to give you a direct answer on that then you deserve better. Don't give up, and talk to her.

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