A
male
age
41-50,
*penbar
writes:Hello, I have been friends with this girl (we are both in our thirties)for about a year and so I decided to try make it serious and possible start dating. While we were joking around I asked her "So how come you don't have a boyfriend, she replies with a serious look on her face "I don't know you well enough to answer that" I did not expect such a serious answer. Should I pursue it. What dies that mean exactly, I don't understand. Any possible answers would help, Reply to this Question
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male
reader, openbar +, writes (23 April 2010):
openbar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have been getting somw really good answers, thank you all. My only guesses from her and the answers are; she was at fault for something terrible that she did or maybe she is really is a lesbian.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): This is just my experience coming from a guy who will be brave and say or ask most anything.... It's okay, as a guy, to ask politely if a girl has a boyfriend, but I'm just guessing by your question that you worded it how you said it here..."How come you don't have a boyfriend?" If you phrased it that way when asking her, from my own experience in responses, it will end in her being offended. That's because alot of girls will get offended by that structuring of a question, taking out of it, "Why does no guy want to be with you?" Some girls will get just as offended by that as if you ask them their age or "How come you're not married yet?" Why do some of them get offended? It's because it's many peoples' dream in their present state in life to be married, or have a boyfriend/girlfriend.. I've seen guys feel just as bummed out when asked the same question by a girl. It's almost like mocking them, to them.. Try just asking if she'd like to go out with you. Be direct.. that's the only way to get an honest answer out of her. I've learned that by offending alot of people by accidentally phrasing things wrong when trying to be too polite. It ironically usually backfires. That's why alot of people who seem cocky seem to get the partner when alot of nice people wish they did. It's not that they're jerks, like how people comment, "How come people always go for jerks?..", necessarily, but that the ones who are direct usually get direct results. Try that out, and I hope you get to date her!! If that doesn't work, then I'm guessing she might have some underlying issue(s) from the past, causing her to be quite reserved about moving forward with someone else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): this is a total shot in the dark but i would guess that she has secrets in her life that she only shares with those she is close too. this could be anything from she is seperated from a spouse, to she prefers the same sex, to who knows? but she has been very clear that she doesnt feel comfortable sharing her personal life with you at this time. either repect that and back off or attempt to become the kind of friend that she IS comfortable sharing her intimate details with. good luck, mal
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A
male
reader, Lpslancelot +, writes (15 April 2010):
She is either teasing you or she is not interested. Most likely she is teasing you and is waiting for you to make a move. Their is no real easy way to do this except to ask her out. Women are turned on by the thought of being pursued (turned on being figurative). If you kind of dance around the fact that you are interested she will never even consider you. Make fun of her shoes or something goofy that she does and then say hey I have an extra ticket to a concert or you know a cool bar that she would like. Then just say over abruptly would you like to go as my date? She will either give a bs excuse or she will say yes. Either are fine, and the excuse could be valid so don't give up. If she does say no, take a friend girl or tell her you took a friend girl and yall had a blast. Don't overdue this one. Subtle and she will believe you. Do this, it works trust me. Bust most def make fun of things that will make her laugh, don't be offensive. This will make her like you or help her decide that she likes you.
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