A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm told so and I also believe that I'm very mature for my age and I have been going out with my boyfriend for two and a half years now. We are deeply in love and we both can't stand being apart from one another. However this year, just before we reach 3 years together, he is going to America for 4 years to do a football scholarship. I get incredibly upset each time I think about it and he doesn't like talking about it either because he gets upset too. I'm so happy for him though because this is a great opportunity and his dream that I want him to do! I get scared that without me with him, he will seek attention and affection from another girl over there. He says that will never happen because he loves me too much to jeopardize our relationship. I sometimes believe him but I'm slowly loosing trust and hope. Another problem is that when he goes, I wont have anyone else to talk to. Ive lost all my friends from school and I dont know why. I part time model but never mention anything or boast to anyone so its not like I'm being big headed or boasting, infact I never mention it at all only if they ask. They never get back to my calls or texts and I'm always the one chasing them up for a chat but never get a reply. Girls dont seem interested in talking to me, even though I make an effort to talk to them , this is the same when trying to make new friends. I feel so sad having no friends to enjoy this part of my life with. Because of this I find it hard sometimes talking infront of big gropus or to people in work or in conversations.I have guy friends at work who I get on fine with but dont see them outwith work as it would look suspicous to my boyfriend, although we are only friends. They all tell me that he will cheat on me because they love scottish accents over in America. He's a good looking guy and has charm and treats me like a princess, I dont want to lose him and feel that all these other beautiful girls will appeal more to him. I've lost all confidence in myself, constantly comparing myself to celebrities and other girls and feel ugly, useless, looking up cosmetic surgery, wishing I looked like other people wanting to harm myself and I'm still self conscious infront of my boyfriend. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time and says there is something wrong with me if I can't see that. He says that I am a beautiful girl and maybe other girls are intimidated or jealous or feel I'm big headed, which I am the total opposite of. He doesn't even look at other girls, he says and sees them as beautiful as me, which I find hard to believe but when he does say this I am happy for the moment but it disappears again. I think I need professional help because of how low I feel about myself.I dont know what to do, I'm afraid I'm going to be lonely for the rest of my life, even though I'll always have my family, everyone needs friends. Coming up to my birthday as well my mum asks me if I'm doing anything with friends when the truth is I dont have any. Please help because my confidence is slipping away more each day and I feel terrible about myself. I have no one to talk to as I feel this would'nt be fair on my boyfriend to complain about to all the time as he is so excited about America and already stressed with payments. I tell him all my problems all the time and he says sometimes they can be a bit much for him and he just changes the subject, he does his best though which I appreciate so much and I can understand why he says its too much for just him to solve. I dont feel that I have neglected my friends since being with him. I am only happy when I am with my boyfriend. I very much appreciate you listening to me. Thankyou.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): I am very happy for him and I'm not and wouldn't want to stop him going. The only thing is though that none of my friends want to spend time with me anymore and making new friends is hard because some girls turn a blank eye to me and dont make any effort back. I do understand what you are saying though. Thankyou so much.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): you have to be happy for your boyfriend. this is a big thing for him & you should support him no matter how much it's hurting you.
you don't know how it's going to be without him there. you might absolutely love it, because you are growing up & you will have new friends & you'll be able to do other things.
you have to make the most out of life. he's not stopping his life for you, you must continue on with yours.
you sound like you have low self esteem, but if you've only got your boyfriend to tell you how special you are, then you need to start spending time with your friends, then you'll feel part of it.
it's natural to be jealous, but he'll appreciate you supporting him.
keep your head up, because you've got the rest of your life ahead of you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): Thankyou Laura, I still feel, however that people have no interest in me. But I will take your advice. Thankyou so much.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 Whatever will happen ,will happen .The future is not for us to decide.
Everything happens for a reason and if he is yours , nothing will ever separate the two of you.
Don't let your imaginations run riot. You can still talk to him through the internet or video conferencing or Skype,IM , email, Facebook , Twitter, Friendster etc.
Take more interest in others and you will find more friends and not those superficial ones.
You should accept reality and do your best.
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