A
female
age
30-35,
*odireallyneedhelp
writes:I was best friends with this girl since I was in the 3rd grade, were almost done high school now and I feel like she's become a totally different person. She ignores me, expects me to work around her schedule and basically does nothing to prove to me that she is a considerate friend. It seems like she doesn't give a shit whether or not were friends anymore but then when I told her I don't want to be friends anymore because of the way she treats me she tried to convince me to be friends with her again. It was her birthday today and she asked if we could talk in person over the internet, and I asked if she could talk to me today and she said no. I immediately regretted asking her that and when she asked if we could talk on Saturday I said no because I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore. When I told her that she replied by saying "Okay, at least I tried. Bye." That made me very angry because she didn't try, she's never tried, she puts up a front to make it look like she tried but she's made no real, solid effort to keep me as a friend. She doesn't care about me at all, and now I think I HATE her; but I'm still upset that I lost her as a friend.
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female
reader, PunkyPippi  +, writes (23 January 2009):
 That's rough, but unfortunately it's just a natural progression of growing up. People aren't going to stay the same people they were when they were 8. In fact the person she is now, probably won't be a shadow of the person who she will be. The same is true. It seems like you drifted apart and just stuck by each other because you had such a history.
Don't hate her, just accept her for who she is. Talk to her on Saturday. Her birthday was probably a crazy time for her to try and talk to you, so get a quiet minute and talk to her. See what her new interests are, and see if you like who she is. I think you've been holding on to this image you've had of her for so long that you've lost touch with her.
I would give her a chance to talk....please don't hate her for growing up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): I understand the way you feel. My best friend had been acting aloof and unconcerned if our friendship lasted or not. I tried so hard to set up hang out times and events that we could both attend all to no avail. She always had plans or an excuse that prevented her from attending. I even expressed how what she was doing was hurting me and how I missed hanging out with her and her company. After a while I gave up. I stopped talking to her and stopped calling her. By doing so she came around and started talking to me once again. At that point I realized she was not a real friend and was only using me for her own convenience. I was a back up friend. After learning that I moved on. It is possible to out grow your friends. I know its hard to accept but as you grow older it happens.
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