A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have fallen in love with a girl I've known for a year now the problem is she has a boyfriend almost the same amount of time. we have discussed the issue and her excuse is she doesnt want me to be the reason they break up but we have slept together sped all the time together and he really doesnt even know how much we see each other.What kind of advise can I give her?
View related questions:
has a boyfriend, her ex, she has a boyfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): I don't know... honestly she might be the one. If you are in love with her and she breaks up with her man go for it!I did the same thing. I started cheating on my back then boyfriend with a friend of mine and he was fantastic. We were like friends with benefits. Finally i started feeling really guilty and i ended it with my bf. Me and the other guy kept being friends with benefits and slowly started to actually date and not only have sex and make out all the time and this was 2 years ago. We're still together and we're fine with a baby on the way!I havn't ever thought of cheating. He is the one! It is not always true once a cheater always a cheater. mistakes happen. he certainly was not!Advice: 1. talk to her. If she breaks up with him take it slow with her. If you feel it doesn't amount to anything end it.
A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (26 January 2008):
 She doesn't want you to be the reason? YOU ARE THE REASON, MAN! By sleeping with her, you are the perfect excuse for her. You're an accomplice whether you like it or not. You mind as well end it RIGHT NOW,because guess what?
Once a cheater.....ALWAYS A CHEATER! She'll do it to you as well someday down the road if you end up with her.
...............................
A
female
reader, speedcat +, writes (26 January 2008):
sounds like shes playing you!!!!! using you! dont allow her to treat you like that stand up for yourself, put your foot down tell her you wont put up with it, she might dump her man she might not but really when you finally do get her will you ever be able to trust her since you know her behavior???? shes having her cake and eating it to......lucky girl! If shes trully not happy with her man she needs to leave him, shes not doing him any favors staying with him maybe he could find someone who trully wants to be with him.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): Well, I don't think you ARE the reason she would break up with him.
She's cheating on her man and that's reason enough for anyone to break up. The details of who she is cheating with are a distant second compared to the fact that she decided to cheat in the first place.
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 well the fact that she is spending her time and sleeping with someone who is not her boyfriend is an obvious problem sign in their relationship. however, loads of ppl do go through this, they are attracted to 2 ppl, each offering different excitments. talk to her and explain to her that wat she is doing is not fair to either you or him, and that she needs to decide wat she wants to do and who she wants to be with. she says that she doesnt want you to be the reason for the break up, wat reason is she waiting for? has she implied that she wants to break up? talk to her, because the three of you cant go on like this
...............................
A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (25 January 2008):
 Tell the other boyfriend it could work in your favor plus its wrong anyways and if your girlfriend cheated on you u would want to be told as well. And dont tell him it was you unless u have to and make it so she doesnt find out it was you who told him if possible.
Also think about this, do you really want a girl who cheated on her guy for you. Who's to say she wont do the same to you. Its up to you but if it was me i wouldnt get involved with her she could hurt you like she hurt him. I know how it feels to be in love it may be hard to not try to get her but it may be worth it in the long run. But if you tell her boyfriend she may learn a lesson to tho.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, pollard527  +, writes (25 January 2008):
 hey me too. im was the other woman.. not that i pinched someone elses man.. he came to me.. he chased me.. he initiated everything till in the end feelings emotions kicked in.. then what... he walked away...
...............................
A
female
reader, Jmo +, writes (25 January 2008):
 My condolences to you. Seriously. I'm in the same situation only I'm the girl in this kind of story. It's a shitty situation where EVERYONE gets hurt eventually. Thinking from your girl's perspective, she probably really likes you but can't see herself BEEING with you because her boyfriend provides thing that she thinks you can't. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but us girls can be jerks too. And if you really want her (or want to fuck'em both over) tell her boyfriend and see if she comes running back to you when he doesn't forgive you. Admittedly, it has worked on me. Best of luck to you... even from "that girl's" perspective.
...............................
|
