A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:After my wife and I had been married for nine years, she revealed to me that she had done everything but intercourse with her high school boyfriend. I thought that our sexual experience was with just the two of us. I have had a hard time trying to understand it all. I can't get the images of her with someone else out of my mind. Any advice on how to move past the hurt? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, RosesAreRed86 +, writes (26 October 2009):
Buddy, you need to get over this shit ASAP. It really isn't a big deal whatsoever. I would gladly take your wife as she is now, even knowing that you've been with her a million times.
Normally I am very sympathetic to guys who post about their whore of a girlfriend or wife's past and can relate to them and feel sorry. In your case, I really, really, really, really, really think you are making WAAAAAYYYY too big a deal over this. If she didn't have sex with them, you really have nothing to complain about. What she gives you is far more than she ever gave anyone else.
I understand that in your head it is fresh news, and that to you it feels like all of this happened yesterday, but trust me, however much you are hurting over this, it ain't nothin' compared with what some guys have to deal with.
As long as sex wasn't involved, why are you so mad? You get to taste her holiest of holies all to yourself and there isn't another man in the world who gets to have your wife like you get to every have night.
If I had your problems buddy, I would be an extremely happy man. So, my advice is to let this shit go and never speak of it again. Either that or you can make a big stink about it and piss her off to the point that she wants to leave you and you can join the real world where 99.8% of women over 21 aren't virgins.
A
male
reader, passionatelynumb +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Trust me, it could be a lot worse. Read through some of the other posts about husbands having to come to terms with their wives pasts. You are extremely fornunate to have a wife who has had intercourse only with you.
I can understand the pain you feel, but is this something you'd be willing to give up a marriage over?
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (9 March 2009):
 You can let her know it upsets you that she wasn't honest with you 9 years ago. But really, there is nothing you can do but be understanding.
If she saved herself for marriage, and gave herself fully to you, then she really loves you. Imagine the guilt she has been carrying around, because I'm sure she wishes more than anything that you could have been the one to be her first for everything.
But the fact remains that she was in a relationship before you. She didn't cheat, she just did what most people do when they're in a committed relationship. Don't hold this against her, or she might not be comfortable coming to you with her problems again. Just trust that she loves you. If she loved you enough to tell you the truth, then you can rest assured that her thoughts are only with you, and not that other guy. ou are her husband, not him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): yes - stop thinking about it. in the scheme of the world its nothing. move on. you have a wife you love and to say you can't forgive her is an insult to both of you. you can't undo the past it makes the present. love your wife and be very happy.
Star.x.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 You love her, get over it!
You are a perfect example why the waiting till marriage doesn't work! because if she had kissed a boy before marriage you'd still get upset where do you draw the line? Really what difference does it make?
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