A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidEarly in our relationship my girlfriend demanded that I never give other women a hug-hello since she never hugs guys. Its so rare that I hug-hello anyways, and then, only to real friends who cannot misinterpret it as flirting. However, I come to find out that every last guy she's ever met hugs her on sight, and she hugs them right back. She claims that as a woman its different because its hard to avoid them and since she isn't giving, only receiving, I'm still the one disrespecting her??? Fair?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 May 2014):
 Did you notice this question was written in 2007?
;) I expect the OP has his answer by now.
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (22 May 2014):
 No she is not being fair, she also sounds dominating and controlling. She makes excuses for her own behaviour while dictating to you regarding the same thing. "Do as I say not as I do" is her attitude.
She sounds very insecure and petty and also quite a handful! Assuming she is similar age to you, 30-35, she really should have left behind such noncence a long time ago.
Sounds like she wants you as her puppet. She tugs the string and makes you dance.
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A
male
reader, wampalooga +, writes (22 May 2014):
I have one like that. She double arm hugs her friends and says they all think of her as a big sister. I dont know these guys so that dosnt matter to me. But she says i better not hug any girl. Cause she knows how the girls are where she is from.. (Philippines) and they love tall white men. That is a double standard. So I said she couldnt hug her friends either. She agreed but we will see when one tries to hug her if she honors her word. She has already demonstrated that her word is only good if there is zero interference. That sucks for me.
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A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (7 February 2007):
that my friend is called double standards.
and besides its wrong to make 'demands' of anyone, unless your a terrorist or maybe a mother inlaw lol.
it sounds as if shes either very controlling or has some very deep trust issues. if its different for women and that means they can hug but men cant.. does that mean women can hug you but not vice versa?.
i suggest you talk this through calmly and explain you cant not hug female friends as its rude. if theres no comprimise then i suggest you look for someone less like stalin more like gandi
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2007): Nothing about it is fair. Maybe soon you wont even be allowed to say hello either. Be careful,soon it may be ok for her to do anything she likes while you do as youre told.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (7 February 2007):
 When you say she "demanded" that you not do something, that sounds pretty scary to me.
Tell her that you won't hug anyone as long as she doesn't hug back. In other words, she has to keep her arms to her sides when someone tries to hug her.
Overall, it all sounds too immature to me. . . and she sounds too controlling.
Good luck!
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