A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with a girl for 4 years, lived together for 3, we have a house together and were raising her two children, things were great at first but overtime our communication broke down and she sought the attetion of another guy, I asked her if she was cheating she said no, but in that same week I caught her while I was supposed to be at home watching the children, im not staying at the house now, but trying to still let her know I love her and want to work on our problems, but she won't open up to me, its been a month and she still seeing this guy. what should I do Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): I strongly agree with that last poster below me.Even if she actually has got some mixed feelings it doesn't really matter. Actions speak louder than words and she'll go on having "mixed feelings" for the next couple decades at this rate. You need to leave her right now.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): Im afraid you have to face the fact that she is manipulating you.
You say "can she still be confused?", the answer is NO. She is not confused. She never was confused. She is putting on the 'sad puppy' act. I fell for this many times with my ex. WISE UP and realise that she plays the loyal girlfriend around you and when your not around she does what she wants with whoever she wants. She is selfish and wants to string you along.
You deserve much better than that. Pretending everything is OK and making excuses for her is not the answer. The answer is to look within yourself. You know you deserve more. Be honest with yourself and walk away with your head held high. You can do it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell the last time I went to talk to her, she was curled up in my blanket and had all the rings that I have given her on... she didn't know I was stopping by. I talked for an hour or so with not much response, when I offered to say my last goodbye, she didn't say anything,so I began talking some more, it seems like she just wants to hear what I have to say, but not give a response...can she still be confused
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): I think you should back off a bit in telling her how much you want it to work. What sometimes we have to face is that our partners are not necessarily going to have the same feelings and expectations we have.
She knows how you feel, she knows she can pop back into your life when she has finished her fling. Don't accept second best. She will probably want you as soon as you start distincing yourself from her emotionally.
She needs to acknowledge the damage she has done to her life and finally reaslise that your not going to be picking up the pieces, children are involved, hers. Let her stew, think about if this is the person you really want to make all the effort for.
Whilst it is one of the hardest things to do, try to convince someone your the one, when they are looking elsewhere, it is necessary for you to start thinking JUST ABOUT YOU. Get out there and have a bit of a life. I gurantee she will not be that happy when she realises you are fully capable of moving on. Gosh I hate people who play with others lives so flippantly! Good luck doll.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): She is not opening up to you because she feels guilty and wants the easy way out of the relationship. She hopes that you will break up with her so she doesn't have to hurt you. If her kids are not yours, I say you should break up because her behavior will never change forever. She may want to work things out when you break up, but she WILL cheat again. I know from experience that if she doesn't care about your feelings enough not to cheat, she will just disregard them again. Four years is a lot of time to be with someone, but you won't want to waste another 4 years on a cheater. The best remedy for a broken heart is finding someone else to care about. Don't save your heart for her if she can't save hers for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): She is sending you a very clear signal...it's been a month and she's still seeing the other guy. Time to move on, even though it hurts you right now.
...............................
A
female
reader, Straight Up  +, writes (28 November 2007):
 she is really taking the piss you need to tell her to choose between you and the other guy and if she decides to stay with you then she has to promise to forget about the other guy and forcus on you and the children.
...............................
A
female
reader, traykay +, writes (28 November 2007):
 I'm sorry. She is obviously everything to you.This woman has obviously taken advantage of your good nature by leaving her children with you whilst she visits her lover!I know it's hard but you have to face facts...it's over. She is still seeing this man which tells me that you leaving hasn't affected her emotionally at all.The best thing for you to do is move on. See your friends and go out for drinks. Have fun. Don't contact her at all. You are better than chasing someone that doesn't want to know.
...............................
|
